“For my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.”
In the past year plus change, I’ve lost my father, ended a 24-year relationship, lost my job, endured a confounding series of medical issues with my eyes that has threatened my vision, and went through a nasty breakup with a new boyfriend.
There are a lot of items on the positive side of the ledger, but if I’ve ever endured more loss within such a short time span before in my life I’ve forgotten it.
Funny thing about loss. It tears open holes, but it can also lead to new frontiers.
Today I set sail on board the cruise ship Freedom of the Seas. I am in the company with my son, my mother, my sister and her family. I can’t think of a better way to recover and reset.
I’ve put together some new plans that include moving to Seattle in the New Year where my son and his moms live, to start a new career there. Both the promises and challenges of the new beginning excite and scare me.
But the scariest journey is within. For the first time in my life I am truly alone. That indeed is a new frontier.
And so, I embark. Here at the mid-point of my life I leave familiar, comfortable shores for the unknown. I hope, as Tennyson says, “some work of noble note may yet be done.”
Middle-aged I may be, but I am not without hope that somewhere out there is a better world and that I can gain a foothold on its fairer shores.
1 comment:
Wow, I am so sorry, that is a lot to deal with. I had a year like that a few years back. My dog died, boyfriend of 6 years moved out, and best friend moved. Not quite as bad as your situation, but it sure was a lot to deal with at once. I felt like I was living a sad country song...you seem to have a great attitude and positive plans, so best of luck. You will get through to the other side.
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