Tuesday, July 10, 2012

To Sail Beyond the Sunset

“For my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.”

In the past year plus change, I’ve lost my father, ended a 24-year relationship, lost my job, endured a confounding series of medical issues with my eyes that has threatened my vision, and went through a nasty breakup with a new boyfriend.

There are a lot of items on the positive side of the ledger, but if I’ve ever endured more loss within such a short time span before in my life I’ve forgotten it.

Funny thing about loss.  It tears open holes, but it can also lead to new frontiers.

Today I set sail on board the cruise ship Freedom of the Seas.  I am in the company with my son, my mother, my sister and her family.  I can’t think of a better way to recover and reset.

I’ve put together some new plans that include moving to Seattle in the New Year where my son and his moms live, to start a new career there.   Both the promises and challenges of the new beginning excite and scare me.

But the scariest journey is within.  For the first time in my life I am truly alone.  That indeed is a new frontier.

And so, I embark. Here at the mid-point of my life I leave familiar, comfortable shores for the unknown.  I hope, as Tennyson says, “some work of noble note may yet be done.” 

Middle-aged I may be, but I am not without hope that somewhere out there is a better world and that I can gain a foothold on its fairer shores.


Steve Finnell said...

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CC said...

Wow, I am so sorry, that is a lot to deal with. I had a year like that a few years back. My dog died, boyfriend of 6 years moved out, and best friend moved. Not quite as bad as your situation, but it sure was a lot to deal with at once. I felt like I was living a sad country song...you seem to have a great attitude and positive plans, so best of luck. You will get through to the other side.