How Does an Agnostic Explain Death to a Child?

He dodges. Well, this agnostic dodged.

Eli out of the blue the other day said, "I'm sad."

"Why are you sad?" I asked.

"I miss Ranger."

Ranger, in case you haven't been paying attention, was our dog who lived with us for nearly 16 years who died in August.

The topic came up again on the drive to Akron for Thanksgiving. He was talking again about Ranger. The LTR said she was in Heaven with God.

"Daddy, who's God?" he said.

Hoo boy.

"A woman named 'Oprah,'" I almost said. I quickly thought better of that and took the courageous option. "Pappa will tell you," I said.

Look, I could do the heaven and God bit as tools to explain death in a way that's at least somewhat palatable. The idea of living after death in paradise makes death seem, almost, well, bearable.

I'd like to believe in a heaven where we meet our lost loved ones and enjoy paradise forever. Oblivion scares me. Not being scares the shit out of me. And I guess I project that fear unto my son. Maybe he could deal with the idea that this life is it. After all, he is all about living in the moment. Instead we sugar coat it.

I couldn't give him the standard Christrian spin, though I'd once drank that Kool-aid. And although I'm not able to proclaim the existance of God I'm not ready to deny His existance. I just don't know. And uncertainty just doesn't seem, well, fatherly. It's not comforting.

But it's comforting to hear the LTR use the usual religious crutches in explaining God and Heaven to him.

But one thing I notice...there is no difference between the version of God and life after death explained to a four year old and the version understood by a 40-year-old.

I guess when it comes to death we are all children afraid of the dark.