No On 8 Afterthoughts

Lots has been said and done since the disappointing defeat...the grassroots organized a massive protest and HRC organized a black-tie inaugural gala...and a lot of blaming the No on 8 campaign staff for missteps.

One of those criticisms is that they kept the gay out of the campaign. I tend to buy into that criticism, but Dale Carpenter makes the opposite point:

"This may have been the only strategy that had any chance of winning under the circumstances. If the campaign had frankly presented the case for gay families and marriage we might have lost by a much larger margin. No on 8 leaders were trying to dislodge in five months what people have been taught for a lifetime about homosexuals and marriage. Given the size of the task, it’s amazing we nearly succeeded."

I'd like to think he's wrong. But although I've been out to my family for a good many years now, and out to all my friends, I have family and friends who would have voted "yes" on 8. They accept me and the LTR in every other way. But they can't bring themselves to go for the "m" word. So giving our relationships and even just gayness a "face" may not in this case have worked (Sean Bugg makes the simple and elegant point that the mainstream press viewpoint is that gay people have sex, straight people have relationships. I think that viewpoint is sadly universal).

I'd like to think that being "out" is key to knocking down bigotry and fear. But at least as regard to acceptance to gay marriage in my own family, it has not.

Marriage may be the true glass ceiling.