Conversation with Eli

Eli: It's fun being sick. You get to stay home and play and watch movies and stuff.

Me: But you're sick. You feel yucky.

Eli (matter-of-factly): And I'm okay with that.

Speak a Little Spanish

And so, the LTR and I are studying Spanish, each of us working through Pimsleur's audio course on our iPods. I'm on lesson 8.

So far they are fixated on teaching me how to ask where the restaurant and hotel are. Over and over, "Donde esta el restaurante Colon?" And to ask for money: Quiero muchas dollares!

So when we are in Honduras in December, if I ever find someone who knows where the damn hotel and restaurant are I can beg for enough pesos to eat and stay there.

The title of this post comes from Steve Martin's act, in the late 70s. He tells how a couple invite him to an S&M party, which he thinks means Spaniards and Mexicans. So after the show he says he will go to their house and "speak a little Spanish." A little precursor to today's "Hike the Appalachian Trail." I tried to find a clip of this on Youtube but it's not there.

DC Earthquake

The devestation was, well, upsetting

Headline of the Day

Enjoy.

Freakshow

I guess the self parody started with the name of the band.



A self-styled "80s hair band" that is, who performed at my campground last weekend. Okay, seriously, we left the city to get away from crowds and noise, to find that our cabin was on the perimeter of the camp's outdoor "stage" and the band Saturday night was this freak show.

I mean Freakshow. That was the name of the band. To give you an idea, here's a video I took with my iPhone. The lead singer thought I was snapping pix so he gave me some quality poses.



Now, I was in high school and college when 80s Hair Bands were not nostalgia but the thing. And I suppose in each generation some of the girls go dance together while we guys watch. Almost 30 years later it's still happening that way, except the girls are 75 pounds heavier. As in the tail end of this video:

I Don't Think July 4th is Supposed to be about the Military

Is it just me, or is the Fourth getting to be a bit jingoistic?

I camped at a public campground this weekend and was struck by how many patriotic displays had a military theme. In fact, the camp decoration contest was won by a trailer that looked like a shrine to the U.S. Marines. Perhaps this is natural in war time, but it doesn't seem to me like the Fourth was always this bombs-bursting-in-airish.

Don't get me wrong, I don't slight the men and women who sacrifce for our freedoms. It just seems to me the Fourth of July is about something bigger. It's one thing to die for your country. It's another to have a country worth dying for.

The words of the Declaration of Independence are still revolutionary: All men are created equal. We still haven't delivered on the "all" part of that equation and in fact our history is the tale of trying to live up to that revolutionary "all." Talking about the Declaration on July 4 may seem quaint but when you consider the current struggle for LGBT equality or the popularity of certain politicians who proclaim America as a Christain nation who's laws, presumably, favor only Christians, then the words "All men are created equal" retain their revolutionary power.

It's hard standing up for equal treatment for people who aren't like us, and our nation and even we as individuals have failed at times living up to that principle. But it's our nation's founding principle. As long as we don't abandon that principle in favor of security alone or the rights of the majority, our nation will be worth fighting and dying for.

That's what we should celebrate on July 4th. Yes, we should honor the men and women in uniform who died in defense of our founding principle, but to stop there and not get to the Declaration is to forget what it means to be American.

The Other Trial Winding Down Today

Lots of attention on the Prop 8 Trial today, which is winding down today.

Another trial I've been following with rapt (obsessive?) attention is the conspiracy/obstruction of justice trial of the three men who are alleged to have tampered with evidence after Robert Wone was murdered in their home.

If you're unfamiliar with the case, the basics are that Robert Wone, a straight lawyer, worked late one night and crashed at his college buddy's Joe Price's house on Swann Street. Joe shared his house with domestic partner Victor Zaborsky and Dylan Ward (who was having a S/M sexual relationship with Price). Robert is murdered. Police never charged anyone for the murder, but claim the trio (or "trouple" as they are called by the Who Murdered Robert Wone community) tampered with the crime scene (the knife found there does not match the wounds, there was little blood present and it appeared someone had wiped the knife of blood as well as cleaned Robert's body).

Add the fact that there was no signs of forced entry (the trouple advance the theory that an intruder did the deed) and that the autopsy found no signs that Robert struggled or reacted defensively when stabbed, had several needle marks on his body from injections occurring before death and that he had been sexually assaulted (his own semen was found in , among other places, his rectum), this is one interesting case.

And it only gets more bizarre from there.

At any rate, prosecution rests today and the judge will consider motions by defense for acquittal, which many expect Ward, if not all three, have a decent shot of getting.

You can read all about it at the Web site Who Murdered Robert Wone. There is going to be a movie about this one day, trust me.

Park as I Say, Not as I Park

The car driven by a DC parking officer (what are they called nowadays) can usually be found most mornings illegally parked on the corner of 13th and Fairmont (the picture at left was taken around 6:45 a.m.). I assume the officer lives in the neighborhood and yes, street parking is tough.


Unless you're a privileged taxpayer-paid DC employee. How proud I am as a taxpayer to see this official taxpayer paid-for vehicle emblazoned with the DC flag gleefully violating DC traffic law making it easier for the DC officer who drives the car to write more tickets on DC citizens (like the ticketed car in the last picture that is parked exactly as the officer is, a block away on Euclid and 13th).


Or, perhaps I'm naive and DC public officials aren't expected or required to actually obey the law?

The license plate number on the officer's car is DC 9229.

Don't Blink

As if it weren't bad enough that I turned 46 this weekend (the 30th, if you want to mark it on your calendar so you can remember next year), I stumbled upon a facebook page for my high school graduating class to find that 10 members of my class have died. One I knew about. The rest were a shock.

Okay, so maybe turning 46 isn't so bad after all.

(And yes, I know I need to update my profile!)

Unlucky Sunbather

Not only run over, but dragged off to boot.

Tea Party/Republican Budget Cutting Fun

A group with the oxymoronic sounding name of The Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget has come up with a budget cutting calculator you can use to figure out where to slash our enourmous debt. The goal is to get the federal debt to 60% of GDP by 2018, which the group says is necessary to stabilize the debt crisis. Currently, the debt is expected to be 85% of GDP by 2018.

The calculator works by having you make choices of where to raise revenue (pronounced "taxes") and where to wield your budget cutting axe.

I decided to give it a whirl, from a tea bagger/Republican perspective.

So. I cut taxes every opportunity I had. Bush tax cuts of 2001/20003? Kept 'em. Lowered tax rates on corporations. Refused all options to raise taxes or fees.

And based on the Republican position during the recent health care debacle debate, I didn't touch Medicare or Social Security. I repealed Obamacare. And I passed medical tort reform.

My tea bags were on fire! I killed the remnants of TARP and rescinded any unspent money from the stimulus. Ha! Goodbye, socialism!

I left current defense spending stand. I cut foreign aid. I cut every education program I was offered. I cut earmarks. And the federal workforce. I increased veterans benefits. Cut missions to Mars and the Moon (which hurt, having grown up in the glorious Apollo era).

Having done my tea-baggerish best, I hit the "done" button. Uh-oh! The debt in 2018 with my GOP cuts was 81 percent of GDP. Fiscal crisis! Quick, let's talk about Islamic extremism! Besides, Dick Cheney said deficits don't matter, right? Look over there, Obama's giving Miranda rights to terrorists!

After calming down, I decided to take another stab. I reduced troop levels in Iraq and Afghanistan. I cancelled missile defense and downscaled the budget for big navy ships. And I cut foreign aid (for kicks and giggles).

I reduced the size of the 2001/2003 tax cuts (but didn't eliminate them entirely). I did eliminate corporate tax cuts and itemized deductions for the wealthy. I raised user fees.

I didn't cut Medicare or Social Security benefits, but did raise the age of eligibility (to 67). I cut earmarks and farm subsidies. Kept education expenditures. Kept TARP and Recovery funds. I did cut the size of the federal workforce.

I passed cap and trade.

And (dammit!) I kept the Moon and Mars missions. We've got to have some vision beyond this horizon, yes?

I hit the "done" button and DING DING DING I achieved the 60% of GDP needed to save the free world.

Now, I'm not a fiscal expert and maybe a real tea bagger would make different choices that would somehow get to the magic 60%. But the Republicans (and the general public) don't seem to want to touch defense, Medicare or Social Security which taken together accounts for about 60% of the federal budget. You take that and a refusal to raise taxes or fees and you have mammoth debts. Refusal to acknowledge that is refusal to be serious.

But you try. And let me know how it goes.

The Cornyn Defense of Rand Paul

Sen. John Cornyn (R-WTF) offered this defense of KY Republican Senate candidate Rand Paul's statement on Maddow last night the Civil Rights Act went too far and government shouldn't prevent business from discriminating on the basis of color:

“I think it was sort of a gotcha question,” Cornyn said of Maddow’s approach. “If I’m walking down the street minding my own business and somebody sticks a microphone under my nose about a law that was passed 40 years ago, without more detail — I think it probably caught him a little bit by surprise.”

Oh yeah, there he was, walking down the street, not running to be a U.S. Senator, and he just accidentally wondered into a TV studio, accidently got makeup and wired for a satellite feed when Rachel Maddow just popped up and began asking him questions about what he himself thinks. Yeah, that's the ticket.

How can it be "gotcha" journalism when you're asked about your own beliefs and thoughts on public policy? This was no arcane quizzing about some insignificant Senate parliamentary procedure. He was asked about his own thoughts on one of the most significant legislation passed by Congress in the past 40 years.

UPDATE: Paul has reversed himself and now says the Feds do have the legitimate power to prevent racial discrimination. So...he flip-flopped for political reasons. Typical politician. That didn't take long, did it, Tea Baggers?

Why My Coworkers Don't Talk to Me

E-mail from a co-worker to the office:

There is an edible arrangement of cut fruit (some in chocolate) in the kitchen. Please go and eat as much of it as you can right now!

My response:

Thanks, but I'm holding out for the uncut fruit.

Armageddon Predicted for Later Today

UPDATE: We got some rain, a few rumbles of thunder. The giant blue arrow of death never materialized.

Is it me, or are weather graphics getting too dramatic?

Sexuality Not So Private

In its continuing coverage of the "Is Kagan gay?" story, the WaPo opens with this lede:

As long as there has been gossip about people in public life, there has been a debate about the relevance of a very private matter: sexual orientation (emphasis added).

But is sexuality really a private matter? Didn't everyone know that John Roberts and Sam Alito were hets? Was it an invasion of privacy to mention Roberts' wife in the coverage of his confirmation? Is the fact of their sexuality something that was the subject of tawdry gossip and innuendo? John Roberts is straight. Big deal. A lot of people are. If Elena Kagan were a lesbian, again, big deal, a lot of people are.

But here's the difference. For heterosexuals, sexuality is a simple fact of life, as automatic as breathing. That goes for gay men and women who are out and simply living their lives without pretense. The only people for whom sexuality is a "very private matter" are those hidden in the closet. Their sexuality is a carefully guarded secret for which they will expend great personal energy hiding. Openly gay folks, like their straight brothers and sisters, weave their relationships into all the other facets of their lives. They take their significant others to family gatherings, indulge in public displays of affection, recount what they did last weekend together at the office and so on. For the closeted, these relationships are carefully screened off from public view.

This squirreling away of a central component of your life marginalizes and trivializes it. For example, the Post writes about the demand:

that the nominee come forward with details of what goes on, or doesn't, in her bedroom.

And that's wrong. Of course no one should know what goes on in some one else's bedroom. But sexuality is about a lot more than what happens in the bedroom. It's about finding love and companionship with someone and then building your entire life around that someone. It's a key part of one's central humanity. A part of humanity that -- gay and straight -- we share in common. And because it's common it's really not a big deal. Unless we try to hide and deny it.

Then, and only then, does it become, to borrow a phrase from the Vice President, a big fucking deal.

The Kagan Gay Question

Andrew asks (repeatedly, ad nauseum) if Kagan is gay.

I can't decide if it's a fair question. And it is bothersome that the White House treated the assertion that she is gay as a "charge."

I tend to think that if she's gay it shouldn't be an issue but if she's in the closet it should be a matter of concern. I have never met someone who has spent their entire adulthood in the closet who hasn't had their psyche stunted in some way. George Rekers, Larry Craig, Ted Haggerd, witnesses for the prosecution.

But I think what bothers me about Sullivan's insistence on the question is his suggestion that her gayness (or, for that matter, her straightness) would have bearing on how she would rule. This coupling of a person's background with their Court decision-making troubles me. It did when Obama made the connection in nominating Sotomayor. Yes, it's obvious that a person's background, ethnicity, sexual orientation, family life, etc would shape their personal thoughts and opinions. But if judicial restraint means anything it should mean the discipline to balance those beliefs against the rule of law and legal precedent.

In short, if Kagan ever rules that DADT or DOMA is unconstitutional, I hope that it would be from her service to the law and not service to her community.

Appreciating Desi

I was sick this weekend and found myself watching I Love Lucy. In one episode Lucy has hired a snooty English professor to give her, Ricky and the Mertz's English lessons. I'm still cracking up over this exchange:

Prof: There are two words you must never use. One is "swell" and the other is "lousy."
Fred: Give us the lousy one first.

Now, we watch this show because of course we love Lucy. But I don't think we love Desi enough. This guy was really talented, as an actor and a musician. Not to mention producer. His innovations for I Love Lucy are now the standard for sit-coms, even to this day.

Here's a clip of him showing his ability to weave music, comedy and romance. And what a dashing guy he was.

My Kid Eats Better than Your Kid

Eli has returned to the West Coast with Pappa and I am cleaning out the remaining Eli food from the fridge that I know we won't eat. My neighbor who has two kids around Eli's age was in his backyard, so I hollered over, "Hey, I've got two lunchables here left over from Eli's trip, do you want them?"

"No," he replied, "Our kids aren't allowed to eat lunchables."

Well. Um. Well, my kid isn't allowed to eat lunchables either, I just made it sound like that so you wouldn't be embarassed if you took them.

Fully humiliated, I dumped the offensive food in the garbage. I could have left them out for the rats, but was afraid they would be above eating it.

Find Your Military Match (in your local gay paper)

I captured this screen shot of today's DC Agenda (DC's LGBT weekly paper) when I saw the ad on the left. The article is a Kevin Naff editorial on DADT. The Ad says "find your military match today" and shows a picture of a man in uniform in an intimate pose with a woman.

There's something either terribly wrong with this picture or our service members are a lot more progressive (and sexually adventurous) than anyone gives them credit for.

Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey

Somehow in Sunday School, when we learned about the Lord's Prayer, which Jesus told us to use as a model prayer, I missed the part about putting your left foot in.