Traditional Biblical Marriage

A commenter at Pam's House Blend Lays it out:

If we let the Bible define "traditional marriage" then these changes should be made (4.00 / 5)
If we are to let the Bible define what "traditional marriage" should look like, then our marriage laws should be amended as such: ~snark~

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)

Many Bible passages don't make sense in todays society, but they are ignored by those who seek to keep all Gay people oppressed.

Gay Marriage Threat to Civ, Says Huckabee

Perhaps Mike Huckabee should have spent less time watching Chuck Norris films and more time reading his bible. In an interview with GQ, he said:

You have to have a basic family structure. There’s never been a civilization that has rewritten what marriage and family means and survived."

Really? The 1950s image of the mom and dad and two kids with the white picket fence idea of marriage was handed down to us unchanged since Eden?

Let's go to the Bible:

• Genesis 16:1-11 Abram impregnates his wife's maid, Hagar. He later marries her. And angel of the Lord appears to Hagar and blesses her and her baby.
• Genesis 26:34: Esau, son of Isaac, takes two wives
• Genesis 28:9 Esau takes a third wife, to annoy his father, Isaac.
• Genesis 29:15-15-30: Jacob exchanges labor of seven years to Laban, in exchange for getting the right to marry his daughter Rachel. At the end of seven years, Laban pulls a switcheroo and sends his older, less attractive daughter Lean "in" to Jacob. When Jacob discovers the deception, he works another seven years so he can take both women as wives.

Now -- that's the way things worked way back when and guess what -- we don't do things like that anymore. Society changed the definition of marriage. Women aren't passed into marriage --at least in the West -- as property. Most people would say marriage is based on love between two equal partners.

Marriage is a social institution and as society changes it can and must change. It certainly has since Biblical times. Or is Huckabee saying we must return to a time when men could buy multiple wives? Nah -- but he is cherry picking the Bible to pick on the rights favorite straw man -- the rights of gay Americans.

Struck Dumb Over Dumbledore

Well, this is no surprise...the Christian Coaltion is urging parents to "ban their children" from reading Harry Potter or watching Potter films after the revelation that Dumbledore is gay.

Ummm, good luck with that.

Heavens, what if they figure out that some of the people mentioned in the Bible were gay?

Harry Potter Condemed

Writing in the Evansville (IN) Courier & Press, Norm Ashby of Henderson Kentucky says:

I feel it's time to expose the Harry
Potter phenomenon. The entire episode deals with withcraft, including the
movie. The mastermind behind all this is Satan.

Someone needs to tell Lucifer J.K. Rowling is stealing his royalties.

Mr. Ashby goes on to quote the book of Prophets and says:

This material is an abomination to
Almighty God...

Whoa! An abomination! That's one of the Bible's harshest words. That's what the fundie thumpers say about gays. So...we gay folk are as inherently bad as...Harry Potter?

The more they talk the sillier they get, no?

Thomas Jefferson's Koran

Rep. Elect-Keith Ellison -- you remember him, the newly elected representative from Minnesota who happens to be Muslim and who will place his hand on the Koran, not the bible during his swearing-in ceremony -- will use a special Koran, one owned by Thomas Jefferson.

That surely won't blunt the attacks of right wing Christian mongrel Virgil Goode, who has attacked Ellison for daring to have religious beliefs different than his own and having the audacity to want to take an oath using a book of personal religious significance to himself instead of the book that Goode prefers. In fact, Goode wants to go so far as make it illegal for any book other than the Bible to be used in Congress.

The use of Jefferson's Koran is a delicious bit of irony and symbolism.

It's kind of hard for religious nutjobs like Goode to get past Jefferson. When they talk about the Founding Fathers they have to exclude Jefferson, who does not fit into their picture of American leadership:

• Jefferson doubted the divinity of Jesus and in fact wrote his own version of the Gospel.
• He wrote that the "pursuit of happiness" was an inalienable right, a right that Goode and his ilk spend a great deal of their time and money trying to keep the rest of us from pursuing.
• He based his beliefs and values on a close study of science and history.
• He believed and fought for the separation of church and state (he coined that phrase) and wrote Virginia's bill for religious freedom, an accomplishment he ranked with having authored the Declaration of Independence
• And, his personal life was a bit messy, having children outside of marriage and conducting an affair with a married French woman.

All in all, America's greatest founding father.

Rep.-elect Ellison is quite right, and should be quite proud, to put his hand on President Jefferson's Koran.