Here's a shot of optimism, courtesy of a Carl Sagan/Stephen Hawking remix.
4 comments:
Anonymous
said...
I just read your comment on Jimbo's blog about his posting pics of his Charlene drag getup. You asked "do you worry about what a would-be employer might think?" Thanks for this profound question. I'm a doctor in NH and, since as we just found out from Maine, the 31st to strike down gay marriage, gay people are still not so accepted. I'm the "future employee" of hundreds of people so except with family and a few trusted friends I choose to remain mostly closeted. I hate this and I take a lot of shit from gay and straight friends who say "just come out and get it over with." I'm not so sure I want to face loss of income and prestige in a very opinionated world. Anyway, thanks so much for bringing this up. Apparemtly I have an "ally" and I appreciate that. P.S. The Sagan video is great. I loved him. Steve in NH
Thanks for writing. I think here in DC and other larger metro areas simply being out is not an issue at work (unless you're a Republican Member of Congress). I was referring more to, yes the photo of Charlene, but also Jim's frequent posting of men he finds attractive as well as his suggestion in the same post that he has been treated for depression. I have blogged about my own case of being on Lexapro for anxiety but also worried about that being known by my employer. Or did I want someone who hired me to see the type of men I find lust-worthy by looking at the photos I post here? I used to post lots of pix of shirtless men, now, not so much.
I'm out at work and will be anyplace I work...I've crossed that rubicon. Being out is a journey, though, not an end point. My experience is that for most people in your life it's not a big deal and they figured it out long before you confirmed it. I believe that coming out is one of the most effective way to fight bigotry. Still, it's an intensely personal decision and one that you must decide on your own timeline. So, no pressure from me!
I will say that not being in the closet is immensely freeing. So much energy is spent hiding! If you do ever decide to come out, I think you will be surprised at how much time and emotional energy you had been devoting to staying in.
Maybe some day I'll develop the courage to be out all the way but not just yet. I am familiar with the liberated feeling -- it had it when I came out to my friends & family. (To be fair, however, I did not expect any negative reactions so they were the easy ones.) It's curious that you wince about Jim's Lexapro- and depression-divulging and taste-in-men telling because I see a parallel to widespread coming-out: concern about "preferential treatment" from a disinterested, possibly hostile unknown.
You are absolutely right about coming out being the best way to fight bigotry. Indeed I think getting to know a gay person is the only thing that changes minds. Letting down my team is something I feel bad about because I'd be a great spokesman. I'll have to let others do it for now and settle for increasing my ACLU donation.
Thanks again for posting comments. And I'm sure you will know the right time.
Isn't it amazing how willingly we put stuff on our blogs that we might not raise in casual conversation. Like the Lexapro BTW, I was on Lexapro, I don't know if Jim was or not though it was probably something like it becaue he mentioned something about having trouble reaching an orgasm on his blog, which is a side effect. See -- here we are discussing this guy's medication and ability to cum based on what he posted on his blog.
4 comments:
I just read your comment on Jimbo's blog about his posting pics of his Charlene drag getup. You asked "do you worry about what a would-be employer might think?" Thanks for this profound question. I'm a doctor in NH and, since as we just found out from Maine, the 31st to strike down gay marriage, gay people are still not so accepted. I'm the "future employee" of hundreds of people so except with family and a few trusted friends I choose to remain mostly closeted. I hate this and I take a lot of shit from gay and straight friends who say "just come out and get it over with." I'm not so sure I want to face loss of income and prestige in a very opinionated world. Anyway, thanks so much for bringing this up. Apparemtly I have an "ally" and I appreciate that. P.S. The Sagan video is great. I loved him. Steve in NH
Steve in NH --
Thanks for writing. I think here in DC and other larger metro areas simply being out is not an issue at work (unless you're a Republican Member of Congress). I was referring more to, yes the photo of Charlene, but also Jim's frequent posting of men he finds attractive as well as his suggestion in the same post that he has been treated for depression. I have blogged about my own case of being on Lexapro for anxiety but also worried about that being known by my employer. Or did I want someone who hired me to see the type of men I find lust-worthy by looking at the photos I post here? I used to post lots of pix of shirtless men, now, not so much.
I'm out at work and will be anyplace I work...I've crossed that rubicon. Being out is a journey, though, not an end point. My experience is that for most people in your life it's not a big deal and they figured it out long before you confirmed it. I believe that coming out is one of the most effective way to fight bigotry. Still, it's an intensely personal decision and one that you must decide on your own timeline. So, no pressure from me!
I will say that not being in the closet is immensely freeing. So much energy is spent hiding! If you do ever decide to come out, I think you will be surprised at how much time and emotional energy you had been devoting to staying in.
Scott,
Maybe some day I'll develop the courage to be out all the way but not just yet. I am familiar with the liberated feeling -- it had it when I came out to my friends & family. (To be fair, however, I did not expect any negative reactions so they were the easy ones.) It's curious that you wince about Jim's Lexapro- and depression-divulging and taste-in-men telling because I see a parallel to widespread coming-out: concern about "preferential treatment" from a disinterested, possibly hostile unknown.
You are absolutely right about coming out being the best way to fight bigotry. Indeed I think getting to know a gay person is the only thing that changes minds. Letting down my team is something I feel bad about because I'd be a great spokesman. I'll have to let others do it for now and settle for increasing my ACLU donation.
Steve
Steve --
Thanks again for posting comments. And I'm sure you will know the right time.
Isn't it amazing how willingly we put stuff on our blogs that we might not raise in casual conversation. Like the Lexapro BTW, I was on Lexapro, I don't know if Jim was or not though it was probably something like it becaue he mentioned something about having trouble reaching an orgasm on his blog, which is a side effect. See -- here we are discussing this guy's medication and ability to cum based on what he posted on his blog.
Scott
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