Don't Worry, Be Happy?

I've been having anxiety issues. Should I be worried?

The perplexing this is, I have nothing to really be anxious about. I am healthy. My business is going great. I have a great house (except for the holes in the wall from the plumbing problem), a great partner who loves me (and is a great cook!) and two great (albeit ancient) dogs. What the hell am I so anxious about?

I've always been high strung with a lot of nervous energy (okay, I heard someone whisper "temperamental bitch." I know who you are). Lately, though, those tendencies have risen to a fever pitch, to the point where I'm either pacing the hall aimlessly or sitting at my desk hyperventilating and staring into space.

Worrying runs in my family. My maternal grandmother was a notorious worrywart. She would jump at the slightest unexpected sound -- "What's that?" she would exclaim, looking around the house as if expecting to see Satan coming to take her away. I never could figure out why she was so uptight...after all, in her lifetime she had seen and survived two world wars, the Great Depression, the Cold War, Vietnam, and polyester pant suits. She had come through it all.

Now I understand better, though. Somewhere in my late 30s to now it dawned on me how fragile life is. I lost the indestructible confidence of youth. It sank in that this is it, the one chance, no do overs.

At this point I'm supposed to cry Carpe Diem! and Smell the Roses! and Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May! I believe all that crap but I am finding myself increasingly incapable of doing them.

So, I'm thinking of trying drugs. Pharmaceuticals, that is.

I've tried therapy. I've tried religion. I've tried porn. Exercise helps. But I'm going to my doctor this afternoon to talk to him about the problem. I'm not sure I like the idea of going on medication to calm my nerves. Especially if there are unpleasant side-effects: "May cause nausea, loss of appetite, impotence, halitosis, dizziness and force you to vote Republican." If I get all those, I really will have something to worry about!

So we'll see how it goes.

I'm worried my doctor will think I'm nuts.