I admit it...that question (see below), declaimed more like a condemnation than a query from my niece, bothers me. Because in her mind it makes me an "other."
What? You're not a Christian? You're not straight? You're not like me?
And in the question I was pulled back 20 years to the Southern Illinois of my youth where everyone was the same...at least outwardly. At least to keep up appearances. It was that prison of sameness I fled when, with no job or place to live, I escaped to the city.
I like that in the city the expectation is that people will be different. I like that in my kitchen at the Easter brunch I had my close circle of friends included straights, gays and lesbians, atheists and people of faith, women and men, with ages ranging from 32 to 62 (admittedly we were not so diverse racially. And let me say that I often find that people who promote diversity are often fairly narrow -- conformist, even -- in their view of what "diversity" is. But I do like that when I'm looking at my friends I'm not totally looking the mirror ).
But the question that is the subject of this post rings in my ears. It was from my niece, who has for all of her 14 years idolized her uncle. Now more of the luster is off. Some of it came off last year when it finally dawned on her that Uncle Scott and his "roommate" were more than friends. She cried. It broke my heart.
Now, with the revelation that Uncle Scott is a heathen: more luster lost. I tell myself that I may play a role in her life that helps her be open to the world in ways she otherwise would not be. But seeing the disappointment in her eyes still smarts.
I guess there was a reason the tree of knowledge was forbidden.
3 comments:
In my gut, I believe that your niece still idolizes you. What better way for her to learn the realities of the outside world than from you? You think you see disappointment in her eyes, but one day, she'll probably tell you that you were more on target with your last statement about making a difference in her life.
Beyond that, know that you ARE making a difference in this world and I admire and thank you.
I saw this quote on the Dilbert blog and thought of your situation:
"Faith would be meaningless without a pinch of doubt to give it context. In particular, it would be helpful to doubt that your religious leaders know the mind of God. A little bit of doubt can be a healthy thing."
Here's the link:
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/04/things_that_sho.html
I'm sure it won't you with this situation but it may be useful in the future.
BTW you have an excellent blog.
Thanks for your compliment and comments. I'm going to respond to the substance of your comment on the blog itself, but I wanted to acknowledge here your kind words.
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