Prop 8, McCain and My Straight Friends

I'm trying to work something out. I can't quite put my finger on it.

The other day a straight colleague who is a staunch McCain supporter said to me, "I'm sorry about your father-in-law."

Father. in. law.

Although I think of the LTR's dad in those terms I was kind of startled to hear him acknowledged as such by someone who supports the political party that would use the highest law in the land to ensure that he would never get that designation. That even now the candidate he supports is in favor of Prop 8 in California which would take the right for gay people to have father-in-laws away.

It brought to mind all the straight friends and co-workers who individually have no problem with my relationship and have said to me that it's "silly" we can't marry, but who then give money to and vote for the party and its candidates who support constitutional amendments that would prevent this from ever happening.

I understand that its not a pressing issue to them. They have the right to marry, after all.

But if the shoe were on the other foot...if I were supporting candidates who wanted to take the right to marry away from them, would they be civil to me? Would my support for such a candidate be a matter of passing lightheartedness the way I currently deal with my Republican friends and co-workers?

Doubtful. After all, Romeo and Juliet died for their love; the Greeks went to war with Troy so Theseus could marry Helen. Love and marriage would seem to be a deadly serious business.

So, I appreciate the fact you recognize my relationship with my life partner's father as equivalent to that of a "father-in-law."

And the fact that you vote contrary to that sentiment I'll try not to take personally and ignore it -- even though I doubt the opposite would be true.