Thursday, May 29, 2008

Introverts of the World Unite!

Problem is, get us all in a room and no one would say anything.

Look -- I'm an introvert. My boss recently reminded me of this when talking about a problem inter-personal relationship between me and another in my office, and she remarked, "you're not the most outgoing person in the world."

Who knew she had a gift for understatement?

I'm tired of feeling bad that I'm an Introvert. It's time to claim a little Introvert Pride (Instead of protests we'll have "think-ins." The silence will speak volumes).

First, a definition: an introvert gets his energy from within, an extrovert from without. It's not that we Intros are shy, per se, look, I spent the weekend at a nude beach. But, as an introvert, I need some alone time to recharge after being with a lot of people; an extrovert gets his energy from a lot of people. As a psychology web site says:

Introverts tend to get their energy from within, so being with people is draining. After a day filled with people or activities, introverts tend to feel exhausted and empty. To recharge their batteries introverts need to be alone reading, daydreaming, painting, or gardening – any solo activity fills them up again.


One of the things introverts hate is small talk. I find it boring and repetitive and not worth the energy it takes me to participate. How many times in our lives do we have to say the same things over and over about the weather being too hot or too cold or the fact that weathermen suck? Small talk about the weather just means we are emitting more personal carbon dioxide and making global warming worse. If we all stopped making small talk about it being "hot enough for ya?" how many polar bears could we save?

Being stereotypically gay in one aspect -- I don't follow ANY team sport -- adds to the problem of being a small-talk-hating introvert. Let's face it, sports is a conversation ice breaker. And my attempts at participating have been met with disaster. Years ago, waiting for a business meeting to begin, someone mentioned how exciting the "tournament" had been the night before. Now, I had watched the men's figure skating championships the previous evening. Here was small talk I could participate in that I found interesting! I quickly chimed in, "yes, Brian Boitano was fabulous!" Everyone looked at me. Of course they were talking about the NBA tournament. I think that has something to do with basketball. Small talk is better left to the extroverts.

Jonathan Rauch, an admitted practicing introvert has written that we Intros are persecuted:

The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."


Despite the oppression we Intros face we are successful. George Washington was an Introvert. Ronald Reagan was probably one too. Most actors and artists are. Even successful business men. Warren Buffet? Yup. Albert Einstein? Of course. Queen Elizabeth? A practicing Intro!

So yes, I am an introvert and proud of it. We're here. We're quiet. Get used to it.

6 comments:

lacochran said...

Sign me up for a t-shirt and a bumper-sticker! Something tasteful and quiet in design. :)

Curtis said...

Amen, brother! In the past, I've been called shy, arrogant, and even pretentious by those that just didn't realize that I'm just usually pretty quiet.

Anonymous said...

Loved it, Scott. Being an introvert is not the same as being shy or afraid of people. It's really a superior mode of being. Jon Rauche is a prime example.

And you, of course!

Swoper said...

Introverts of the world, UNITE!

It's going to be a quiet meeting though....

Anonymous said...

The only place where I find my voice is on facebook. Here I can shout in CAPITAL LETTERS and put all manner of funny status updates. In fact, I am a totally different personality in cyberspace. And I love it because I don't have to open my big mouth!!

Unknown said...

Actually this problem only persists in the States. In some other countries, say, Germany, Russia or China (where I was born), introversion is even preferred over extraversion. Nobody likes empty bottles and if Americans keep acting like an extraverted people, the resent from the outside world will only rise. So save it.