Friday Fashionista

It's What's Underneath that Counts

Scott pal MattyDale offers his fashion tips every Friday. He doesn't mention in his column about under gear below the joys of going commando, and the dos and don'ts thereof. I think that's a subject he should look into. Already my kid has discovered the joys of going commando, and at not yet three knows what it means (his mothers taught him this). In this, he is his father's son.

Guys, let’s face it – the gals get the lion’s share of “gear” when it comes to preparing what to wear. They have bras, sliming devices, hosiery, etc. But those items create the right (or depending on the choice, the wrong) foundation for everything else. With guys, it’s not quite as complex. However, that’s not to say the proper foundation is not important.

The right under gear can make or break your ensemble. From the underwear to the undershirt, we have a wide array of choices. They need not be the baggy, frumpy underwear of grandpa’s youth. Technological advances have been made in men’s undergarments. Fabrics have been blended with fibers that hold you and mold you, making the perfect base for what you put over them.

I will be the first to admit that I have a multitude of underwear to choose from, based on the outfit I plan to don for the day. There are pairs that lower cut, pairs that contain lycra, pairs that hold the butt better and of course the ones that prop up the basket. And then there is the t-shirt. Again, variations abound – crew or v-neck, cotton or cotton blended with Lycra, tank, ribbed tank, etc. The right t-shirt or tank can create a smooth base for what goes on top while also protect the shirt on top from embarrassing sweat stains.

Now for the rules… color of your undies is a little less tricky than color of your t-shirts. T-shirts should be white, but sometimes grey or black can be appropriate. Do not mix brightly colored t-shirts under your nice oxford. That’s a no no. One of my other pet peeves is the mixing of uncoordinated polos and t-shirts. It looks like you are five and your mommy let you dress yourself. Layers are fine, but let’s use our better sense. If you have no sense, stick with basic white. Also, make certain you have the proper fit to avoid an undershirt that billows. It sticks out like a sore thumb under your nicely pressed oxford or dress shirt and does your bod no justice. I don’t care what size you wear, just make certain it fits properly. End of story.

Underwear can be much more fun and interesting, but don’t get too crazy. There are different goals and objectives here – we would not want to be up and out for the office, so something that holds the “boys” down in place is a good idea. However, I firmly believe that the right pair of undies paired with the perfect pants can be the difference between sir frump a lot and “WOW, look at that HOT ass and package!” Another fun thing about undies is a little casual show of some waist band… I think a little goes a long way and can be kind of hot – when you are sporting some tight low-rise jeans or cargo pants (or shorts). But guys, DO NOT tuck your shirt into your underwear so you can demonstrate what brand you are wearing. I have a visual for you… Pee Wee Herman. Nough said? As for boxers, sure they allow freedom for the boys, but they do absolutely nothing for form. As Carrie once said, “Me no likey!” One item that can really boost the butt and create the perfect “package” is the good old athletic supporter (i.e. Jock Strap). It does a great job of holding the butt up and also does justice to what your daddy gave you. A word of advice though, I recommend this is left for bar gear, certain themed bars in particular.

Brands – There are some awesome products out there – Aussie Bum is a personal favorite. They come in a variety of styles, prints and colors. There is the “Undergear” catalogue that has some fun things, but I think they are made for porn stars and often come off looking out of place on us regular guys (but the eye candy is awesome). A few others I recommend: Baskit (these are a little more expensive, but when you see what they do for your body you won’t care about the cost), Calvin Klein, and 2xist, just to name a few.

Whether you are heading to the office or out with friends, the right base will make the things people see look even better – getting you noticed for the right reasons. Besides, why should the ladies be the only ones to have a little fun with their undergarments?