Thursday, October 11, 2007

Straight Men are Slobs

I now belong to two gyms. One in DC, with a predominately gay clientèle, and one in Old Town Alexandria in VA, near my new office, with a predominately straight clientèle.

Straight men are pigs.

Ok, I know I'm stereotyping, there are gay Oscar Madisons and straight Felix Ungers.

But. Seriously.

Even the most slovenly out of shape gay guy at the "gay" gym is no match for the obese slobs at the straight one. I'm mean, guys -- would it hurt you to put your used towels in the numerous towel bins? Do you really need to leave them on the floor in front of the communal sink? Or on the benches? Can you throw your used disposable razors in the trash? Do your wet, sweaty, dirty gym clothes need to sit on the bench in front of my locker while you take a shower or sit in the lounge in your boxers talking about sports with every other word being "fuck" or "shit" (and I'm talking to YOU, Mr. Jabba the Hutt guy whose gut is so big I swear he must come to the gym only to a shower and so he doesn't have to wash towels at home)?

And if you want to leave your work clothes draped over the ironing board (yes, there's an iron and board in the locker room, a key reason I joined so I could have pressed clothes even while bike-commuting) while you steam and take a shower and stand around with your gut hanging out over your towel, I'm going to move them out of my way for the 2.5 minutes I need to iron. So don't act put out when I do (some straight men are SO sensitive!).

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

straight men might be slobs but all (most) men are pigs

Anonymous said...

Gay guys are so much neater, kinder, cleaner and have more self control and respect for others, than straight guys.
This is not an attack on straight guys, in my eyes it's just how it is.

And very few men are pigs.