I've no doubt this has hurt my career. A former boss used to get really mad at me after meetings. "Speak up!" she would say. "You're too deferential!" Actually, I was processing what all the idiot extros were saying.
My hunch is that if i were competing against someone else with the same age and background, but who is more extroverted, I would lose.
The Psychology 101 Web site says:
Since North American culture promotes teamwork and communication, introverts at work may struggle professionally. Extroverts at work enjoy attention, network well, and are good at marketing themselves. These qualities make them appear to be better at their jobs than introverts at work, but appearances are often deceiving.
Recently, as I've shared, my current boss said, "you're not the most outgoing person." It was not a compliment. Another co-worker recently semi-jokingly referred to me as "aloof."
So I've decided to launch a Scott Outreach campaign. Each day I'm sticking my head in a co-worker's office to banter. The campaign is having some immediate results -- co-workers are now poking their heads into my office with greater frequency.
It's interrupted my work and slowed my productivity down...but hey, at least I'm "coming out of my shell."
5 comments:
I can totally relate to this. Just keep repeating (silently) to yourself: I'm getting paid to banter. I'm getting paid to banter.
Works wonders at waste-of-time meetings, too.
I remember the days we used to banter (long sigh)
where have those days gone?
Helpful tip from an extrovert... if you approach it as the "I" and "E" in Meyers Briggs.. it doesnt mean you are shy or outgoing.. it means whether you recharge alone or around others... yes it means making an effort to excel at what is either a written or unwritten job performance element... my supervisor is an introvert but I always make sure I ask his advice and opinion. Offering quality thoughts after processing at a meeting will always be appreciated.. just dont scowl while you're doing it :-) BV
Thanks. I understand the difference between being shy and introversion. See my earlier post on the subject.
What? I have to talk AND smile?
Can I retire now...
Scott, think of it as talking and gritting your teeth, to make people think you're smiling. Most of the time it seems that the ones who talk the most have the least to say.
To quote Billy Joel, "Don't go changin'."
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