Saturday, July 26, 2008

Gay Men and their Women

What is it with gay men and their idolization of women?

I clicked on the Washington Blade this morning and a banner ad for an apartment screamed: An Apartment Carrie Bradshaw Would Love.

Clearly targeted at gay men. Because we love Carrie Bradshaw.

The recent (sad) death of Estelle Getty from the Golden Girls is another reminder. "Which Golden Girl are you?" used to be a question commonly heard, as "which Sex and the City character are you?" was recently.

As gay men we aspire to emulate snarky older women or swanky Manhattan dames?

Where are our male role models?

As I consider the question, I'm glad the gay men on TV aren't role models as they are all mostly gross caricatures. And now typical that the character most often emulated from Will and Grace aren't the men (thank God) but Karen. I can think of one gay character from TV worth admiring -- Keith, from Six Feet Under -- so it's not like there is a lot to choose from.

And it's not like I'm immune. I've played the which Golden Girl are you game (Dorothy, alas) and I like Sex in the City (Miranda -- at least I identify with the lesbian).

So what is it us gay men and our female role models? It's like we objectify women in our own way. While we don't view them as sex objects, we look at them as personality objects.

I don't get it.

In the meantime, I'm going to go watch some old Steve McQueen movies. And I'm skipping the cosmo.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Some gay men, Scott. I never watched "Golden Girls" or "Sex in the City." Don't identify with any of the characters in either show. Don't think I even managed to see a complete season of "Will and Grace," it was that awful. Never saw "Friends," or "Seinfeld," or nine-tenths of the other "Must-See TV" that wasted the '90s. For my money, the last good gay-themed show on TV was "Brothers," and that was longer ago than I care to think about and largely unnoticed by the gay or the hetero community.

Jenn said...

There's nothing...and I mean NOTHING wrong with being Dorothy.

I'm not a gay man, but I still choose Dorothy.

Anonymous said...

I'm Betty White's character. And they should have never taken Six Feet Under off the air. I really miss that show. And Keith was so beautiful.

Alan Scott said...

Great point, Scott. Where are our gay male role models? They're out there waging the war against discrimination and equal rights; they're drumming up money for AIDS research. But since they are not as 'glamorous' as "The Golden Girls" or "Sex In The City" (which I have never seen, and don't plan to), we can't emulate them and be 'fabulous'. Whatever. Maybe we should turn our attention away from the 'out' celebrities, athletes, rock stars, and anyone else over-hyped by the media and look for those who are actually making a difference in our lives.