Houston, We Have a Problem

I rarely drive to work. I did Monday because the weatherman said we were going to have heavy rain and storms on the afternoon commute. Of course, the weatherman is right about as often as I drive to work and they rarely happen at the same time. In other words, it didn't rain.

However, as I was backing out of my parking space, there was a loud "pop" and the Jeep jolted like I'd hit something. I thought maybe I blew a tire. A quick 360 inspection showed nothing wrong...so I got back in, put her in reverse. There was a funny noise, it felt like I had a flat tire and that the emergency brakes were on -- and neither was the case.

This time I looked under the jeep.

Uh-oh.

This is the right front wheel. This is how it's supposed to look:










This is the left front wheel. Notice that big ball thingy and frame resting against it.









Turns out it was a defective ball joint. Can you imagine if this happened going down I-95 at 70 mph, instead of in a parking garage?

Underwear and Bike Shorts

The Friday Fashionista has gone into hibernation (rumor has it he's working for a living) but I just got a fashion tip (well -- clothing advice) from another friend:

You aren't supposed to wear underwear with bike shorts.

I did not know this. I recently made the switch to Lycra bike clothing. In the past I've worn shorts or in colder weather long johns and sweats. But now with a longer winter commute and the problems of wind and rain and the length of time it takes all that cloth to dry, I decided to try form fitting Lycra.

But the hot helpful employee at City Bikes, whom I consulted with, failed to tell me with bike shorts you go commando. This, according to the Web site Bike Maintenance:

Bicycle shorts are not used with underwear because that would defeat the
advantages

.


Well, I didn't know. And since bike shorts cost a lot more than regular shorts, I sure don't want to defeat the advantages. So -- if you see me on the bike trail, rest assured I'll be living free and easy!

No Day But Today

"Give in to love, or live in fear..."

Several friends/readers of this blog have been going through the ups and downs of relationships. It put in me in mind of this song from Rent (because, as you know, everything I learned about life I learned on Broadway).

I dedicate it this morning to Stephen from Oz:

The Informal Presidential Primary Road Poll

I hit on what I thought was a brilliant way to help pass the time on the Thanksgiving drive -- tally the number of bumper stickers we saw for each presidential candidate and report the results back to you, my deserving readers.

Well, in the nearly 800 miles round trip here's what we saw:

1 bumper sticker.

For Ron Paul.

It's possible we missed some, but both of us did keep our eyes peeled.

We did see numerous bumper stickers in the vein of "my kid beat up your honor student" or "My golden retriever is smarter than your honor student."

And several "OBX" stickers.

But not even one faded "Kerry Edwards 04" sticker.

So, I guess, they just aren't paying much attention yet in the heartland -- at least not enough to deface their cars with political endorsements. But they sure are proud of their dumb thuggish kids and smart dogs!

Hillary Supportive Web Site Offers Cash for "Dirt on Obama."

Vote for Hillary dot com, linked to by Andrew today for offering money for people to say nice things about Hillary on blogs, is also offering money for something else:

Well, if there truly is dirt on Obama, we here at Vote for Hillary Online would like to get to the bottom of what it is. We are not endorsed by the official campaign here, so we do not necessarily need to abide by the same policy of not releasing the information. And if in fact this is as devastating as we think it may be, then it is important that the American people know about it. Adequate information in the hands of the voters is vital to a healthy democracy so we can all make informed choices.

We are offering $100 for this information that was rumored to exist. By the way, please do not waste our time with information that is already available to the public. We already know that Barack Obama used to be a heavy drug user.

I don't know if this site is a joke or not. Okay, well, clearly it is a joke, but I don't know if they are intending to be one or not.

One of the conditions for getting the money is that the info has to be "damaging to his career if made known."

Nice.

And this:

Also, please keep in mind laws pertaining to slander. It is not legal to make false accusations in order to ruin someone's good name

No, let's make sure we can ruin someone's good name the legal way!

And, guys...$100 for info to bring down a major political candidate? Puh-leeze.

I rather hope this site is a satire. Otherwise it's really sick.

UPDATE: It's a satire. I read more.

Sunset Continued

Yeah, yeah, you've seen this before, but this is the best sunset shot I think from my office...the George Washington Masonic Temple in Alexandria, Virginia. This is it, as tomorrow we report to the new office in a different building on the first floor...so this is the final one with this view.

American Values?

I just got done listening to Fred Thompson bash Rudy Giuliani's "New York" values on Fox News (which, I think, is headquartered in New York...is this a tacit affirmation of those NY values?). In 2006 the Republicans attacked Nancy Pelosi for her "San Francisco values." Then of course, there are all those "values" voters, a code word for right-wing Christianists.

Today, we celebrate being gay-Americans, Jewish-Americans, African-Americans, etc., with the emphasis placed on the left side of the hyphen. But can we define what the word on the right-hand side means? Can we define an American "value" that transcends communities, religions and regions? We throw words like "liberty" and "freedom" around with as much sincerity and meaning as we would in telling the grocer to "have a nice day." And yet we fight wars -- cultural wars and blood wars -- over these words.

Post 9/11, I'm not even sure "freedom" is the goal anymore. Today the goal is "security." And that word can be defined by the lack of attack on the homeland. And thus, without the values of freedom and security acting as a balance, a president and Congress can justify any act as long as it makes us more "secure."

I wish a leader in the presidential race would take Americans through a discussion of what freedom and liberty mean in a way that isn't sectarian or provincial. America is having an identity crisis. We increasingly, in our mad quest for security, have forgotten who we are. And our politicians play to our fears over our differences by throwing around code phrases like "New York Values." It's much harder to win elections talking about what unites us.

Our original national motto was "E Pluribus Unum," Latin for "out of many, one." We're doing good on the pluribus part, not so good on the unum part. And with the current crop of sorry presidential candidates, the marginalization of America will continue.

Have a nice day.

Meet Cooper

I've been thinking about adding Cooper's Corridor to the Scoot-O-Verse for some months but have shied away from it because, well, I am not worthy.

Cooper is "Just a gay man of the woods living in Northern BC ... father of two wonderful adopted sons, ardent naturalist, ecologist, a passionate lover of the earth's wild and hidden places." He is part native Ojibway and that heritage seems to instruct his life and his thinking. At least, that's the way it seems to this European-American.

I've hesitated linking to him because Scott's Take is so, well, crass. And political. And sometimes just about beefcake. Okay, I'm not going to apologize for the politics or the beefcake but the paths we walk here are ground glass to the soft leaves at Cooper's Corner. Which is not to suggest that Cooper doesn't have his struggles or pain. And certainly not to suggest that the gentler way of Cooper isn't strong. I am someone who has thrown a lot of sharp elbows in life, and I sense he has not, and I also get he is the stronger one.

Okay, I may be a little in love with him, but not in a romantic sense...in some ways his is the life I wish I could live.

Years ago I penned a poem about a camping trip I took in the Shenandoah, which included these lines:

The deer dance in the darkness
Their elvish eyes aglow.
And in my dreams I fancy
I'm dancing with the doe.

And ended with this:

My heart lies heavy with the thought -
This source of many ills:
My home is in the city;
But my heart lies in the hills.

There are many posts of Cooper's I could link to show you what I mean, but tonight this one touched me. I think there is a lot I could learn from him.

So, spend some time in the Corridor. You'll be a better person for it.

Forget Global Warming -- We're Causing the End of the Universe as We Know It

No, it's not from the Onion. The UK's Telegraph reports that astronomers on Earth may be hastening the end of time:

...astronomers may have accidentally nudged the universe closer to its death by observing dark energy, a mysterious anti gravity force which is thought to be speeding up the expansion of the cosmos.

The damaging allegations are made by Profs Lawrence Krauss of Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, and James Dent of Vanderbilt University, Nashville, who suggest that by making this observation in 1998 we may have caused the cosmos to revert to an earlier state when it was more likely to end. "Incredible as it seems, our detection of the dark energy may have reduced the life-expectancy of the universe," Prof Krauss tells New Scientist.

No, I don't really understand it either. I'm waiting for the film from Al Gore to explain it all.

Black Friday

I don't get it. Do the savings truly justify the inhumane wake up times, the lines, the harried sales clerks, the kneeing of fellow shoppers in the groin just to get the last gizmo for little pimple face for $10 less?

Compare my morning yesterday with Zac's.

Oh, I did do some shopping yesterday. I did it online.

Unintended Movie Double Entendres

In the WWII movie Midway, this scene:

An airplane, over the pacific. Shot of two pilots. Pilot looks over towards co-pilot, says in disgust: "Jeez, Johnny, how many of those can you eat?"

A third airman lifts his head between the two pilots where he was kneeling and looks at the questioning pilot sheepishly.

It's the subtle subplots that makes these old movies so interesting (it's not Charlton Heston's acting, that's for sure).

Perfect Morning

The LTR and his sister are upstairs in the kitchen, sharing conversation as only a close brother and sister can.

Calls come in from Grandma's house and plans are made for the family gathering later in the day.

And me, resting in the den, stretched out on the couch wrapped in a flannel blanket with my dog resting at my side, while I sip a cup of warm coffee and watch Northern Exposure re-reuns.

And outside, the snow continues to fall.

Perfection

The First Annual Thanksgiving Day Swim

Staying at the LTR's sisters house last Thanksgiving, the LTR managed to lock himself out in the morning when letting the dogs out -- every day.

This was mild compared to what happened this morning. I'll let the LTR tell it:

Well, it was cold, and gloomy - as it always is in Akron - and pouring down rain, and five in the morning. So instead of letting the dogs run outside for a quick pee in the back yard, which isn't fenced, I decided to let them out the side door, which opens to the built in swimming pool. Much to my amazement, Ranger, who is terrified of water, ended up in the pool. On top of the pool cover, sinking into the pool, that is, and quickly becoming submerged in water that was pouring in from the sides and falling from the skies.

Panicked at not being able to reach her in the middle of the pool, and not finding anything long enough to reach her and pull her over, and knowing that everyone was sleeping in the house and my time was running out because the dog was sinking, I layed my body flat on top of the pool and stretched as far as I could....finally grabbing a handful of blond hair and jerking Ranger out of the pool.

At that point, I decided to renter the back patio of the house,
where I stripped off all of my soaked clothing, coat, etc. Realizing that once again I was locked out of the house, I walked around to the front of the house in my underwear and let myself in through the garage. The plan was to grab a towel, dry off the dogs, and get to my parents' house by 6 am to help with the turkey. As I walked into the back room with a towel in hand for the dogs, cold from the plunge and naked except for my soaked boxers, I again looked out back,
and who is in the pool again? Yes, it was a repeat of the whole rescue saga again. Except this time, it was at 5:10 in the morning, and I was wearing only undies. So I did the whole thing again...

When I arrived at my parents' at 6, the first thing out of their mouths was "well, did you lock yourself out of the house....'My answer: "you're not even going to believe this shit....'

Actually I could believe...except for leaving Ranger by the pool after the first time she'd fallen in. And a reader accused me of channelling Britney Spears' parenting skills?

Perhaps a more apt comparison would be Lucy Ricardo...

Eat Smart Today

Here are some tips for not completely losing it at the dinner table today, courtesy of Health Castle:


Don't go to the Thanksgiving dinner hungry: we often eat faster and more when we are hungry - therefore eat a wholesome breakfast and lunch on the day to avoid overeating at dinner time.

Thanksgiving dinner is not an all-you-can-eat buffet: Fill your plate half with vegetables, one quarter with a lean meat and the rest with a starch of your choice. Eat slowly and stop when you are full.

Turkey - go skinless: choose your 4-oz turkey portion skinless to slash away some fat and cholesterol. Save your appetite for the side dishes and desserts.
Side Dishes - watch your portion size: go for smaller portions. This way you can sample all the different foods. Moderation is always the key.

Make a conscious choice to limit high fat items: high fat food items can be found in fried and creamy dishes as well as cheese-filled casseroles in a traditional Thanksgiving meal . For instance, mashed potatoes are usually made with butter and milk; green bean casseroles are often prepared with cream of mushroom soup, cheese and milk and topped with fried onions; candied yams are loaded with cream, sugar and marshmallows. If you cannot control the ingredients that go in to a dish, simply limit yourself to a smaller helping size. Again moderation is the key.

Drink plenty of water: alcohol and coffee can dehydrate your body. Drink calorie-free water to help fill up your stomach and keep you hydrated.

Thanksgiving Day

Thank you to all who read this blog, and especially to those who have become my friends.

I hope you all have a happy and safe and nutritionally fulfilling Thanksgiving Day with those you care about most.

Cheers!

Good news: We're supposed to get snow here later today!

357 Miles Later

Blogging by Bberry still. Almost to sister of LTRs (SLTR) house where we are staying. Tonight we go to his parents (PLTR) house for a pre T-day dinner. Tomorrow the whole family of LTR convenes for all the traditional fixins. The best is Ma LTRs oyster stuffing.

The LTR himself is in a fine whack - jammin to Ru Paul, Queen, Elton John, George Michael and at moment, Boy George.

My throat still hurts and I've been napping periodically.

Blogging by Blackberry

On the road and doing this post by bberry. On 13th street passing civil war fort stevens where abe lincoln became only sitting president to come under enemy fire.

Attack of the Killer Throat

My throat has chosen Thanksgiving week to throw a temper tantrum.

It started last Wednesday night. It started kinda quiet-like, with my throat going, hey, I'm not happy here, then totally escalating into a hey asshole I'm pissed and you are not going to for one second forget I'm here and in agony!

And so now it's difficult for me to swallow food or drink.

Right before the biggest eating event of the year.

So I tried to get into see my doctor before the holiday. No dice. So I went to an "urgent care" center. Regardless of whatever care I got it wasn't "urgent." I was in the waiting room for nearly three hours.

But they ruled out Strep (which is what I thought I had). And mono (which thank God I didn't have). But they don't know what "it" is.

But that didn't stop 'em from prescribing drugs, which I am happily taking. I don't know if it'll do any good...but I'd rather try than do nothing.

But it still sure hurts swallowing.

(insert your joke here)

It'll be a Blue Christmas

I guess we won't be seeing Rudolph this Christmas...

America Bows Out of Presidential Race

From the Onion, of course:

WASHINGTON—Citing exhaustion, an overcrowded field of candidates, and little hope of making a difference in 2008, roughly 300 million Americans announced Tuesday that they will be leaving the presidential race behind.

The U.S. populace, which has participated in every national election since 1789, said that while the decision to abandon next year's race was difficult, recent events, such as disappointing victories by both Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and former New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani in regional straw polls, left them with no real choice.

HatTip: Our man among the rent boys in Prague.