The First Annual Thanksgiving Day Swim

Staying at the LTR's sisters house last Thanksgiving, the LTR managed to lock himself out in the morning when letting the dogs out -- every day.

This was mild compared to what happened this morning. I'll let the LTR tell it:

Well, it was cold, and gloomy - as it always is in Akron - and pouring down rain, and five in the morning. So instead of letting the dogs run outside for a quick pee in the back yard, which isn't fenced, I decided to let them out the side door, which opens to the built in swimming pool. Much to my amazement, Ranger, who is terrified of water, ended up in the pool. On top of the pool cover, sinking into the pool, that is, and quickly becoming submerged in water that was pouring in from the sides and falling from the skies.

Panicked at not being able to reach her in the middle of the pool, and not finding anything long enough to reach her and pull her over, and knowing that everyone was sleeping in the house and my time was running out because the dog was sinking, I layed my body flat on top of the pool and stretched as far as I could....finally grabbing a handful of blond hair and jerking Ranger out of the pool.

At that point, I decided to renter the back patio of the house,
where I stripped off all of my soaked clothing, coat, etc. Realizing that once again I was locked out of the house, I walked around to the front of the house in my underwear and let myself in through the garage. The plan was to grab a towel, dry off the dogs, and get to my parents' house by 6 am to help with the turkey. As I walked into the back room with a towel in hand for the dogs, cold from the plunge and naked except for my soaked boxers, I again looked out back,
and who is in the pool again? Yes, it was a repeat of the whole rescue saga again. Except this time, it was at 5:10 in the morning, and I was wearing only undies. So I did the whole thing again...

When I arrived at my parents' at 6, the first thing out of their mouths was "well, did you lock yourself out of the house....'My answer: "you're not even going to believe this shit....'

Actually I could believe...except for leaving Ranger by the pool after the first time she'd fallen in. And a reader accused me of channelling Britney Spears' parenting skills?

Perhaps a more apt comparison would be Lucy Ricardo...