The Butler Did It

One of the extravaganzas offered by Nemacolin, the posh PA resort I visited with the LTR over the weekend, is butler service.

The resort's butlers will offer varying degrees of service, such as unpacking for you, drawing you a bath before bedtime and, in lieu of a plebian wake up call, will enter your room in the morning at the designated time, open your drapes, wake you and pour you a cup of coffee in bed.

At first I was resistant to the whole thing...it amounted to too much invasion of privacy. But after dinner Sat. night one of the LTR's straight colleagues insisted I let the butler draw me a bath. I only mention sexual orientation here as I don't think I've EVER had another man -- gay or straight -- insist that I take a bubble bath. But insist he did and he even contacted the butler service on my behalf to set it up. And so when I returned to my room the jacuzzi tub was filled with hot, steamy water, and the bathtub was lined with lit candles and fresh cut gardenias. Thanks, dude!

The LTR and I also decided we had to try the personal wake up service. So we set the time for 7:30 a.m.

The next morning we both woke around 7. We didn't know what to do exactly, so we killed time in bed. At about 7:29 I said I had to pee and the LTR said well you can't get up now the butler is about to come in. Finally we heard a rustle at the door and we both pretended to be asleep. The butler walked in, called at a good morning and we replied in our best, we're groggy, just waking up fuzzy headed "'mornin.'" voices.

I'd like to report that the butler was a hot 20-something strapping Pennsylvania farm boy. I'd like to, but I can't. Our butler was a nice, bubbly 20-something pretty young woman. Who actually looked like she was in Jr. High School. I think if Nemacolin wants to improve this service, they would understand the needs of those being butlered a bit better.