I've now experienced both stay at home parenting and day care parenting. Yesterday and today I took Eli to day care and came into the office (so they wouldn't give my desk away).
First -- you've heard the expression "pushing water up hill" but you haven't lived it until you've tried to get a three year old ready and out the door and dropped off so you can get to work on time. It's not only pushing water up hill, it's water with a mind of its own that has decided what it wants most is to do the opposite of what you want.
What rushing to get out the door means is you don't have time to parent well. Staying at home we still have our tussle of wills but I can take time to make "teaching moments." You simply don't have time to do that when you're trying to get to work in time for a 9 a.m. meeting.
Not to mention the fact that in day care not only is the caretaker going to parent differently than you but he or she has other kids to attend to.
And don't misunderstand me -- it's not like I parent perfectly when I'm with him all day (see my earlier post). But whatever quality time you might have is greatly diminished in a working parent scenario.
I know in today's world there is little choice. But I suspect one reason so many kids are fucked up is because of it.
So, the rest of the week I'm staying home with him. This will make both of us happy. "Can I go to work with you Daddy" he asked over and over on the way to day care.
Tomorrow he won't have to ask.
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