Friday, January 09, 2009

Obama's Inauguration: New Security Requirement

The Presidential Inaugural Committee is planning on releasing a new security provision for the swearing-in ceremony on January 20th. All persons witnessing the event on the West Front of the Capitol and the National Mall are required to exhale only on even-numbered seconds if their Social Security number ends in an even digit and on the odd-numbered seconds if their SSN ends in an odd digit.

This is to prevent the Inaugural Party from being smothered by CO2 from the breathes of millions of people or from being blown off the platform should everyone exhale at once.

(Those of you turning your backs on Rick Warren are exempt from this rule for the duration of the Invocation).

No comments: