Good Panties Make Good Neighbors

At first we thought that Bill, our new next door neighbor, was just a repressed homosexual.

Problem is, gay guys who wear drag wear women's clothes to perform in, not get off in.

Bill liked wearing women's panties. And there was definitely something sexual in it for him. His girlfriend left him when she woke up one morning to find him in her G-string.

Later Bill also began painting his toenails. I always thought his choice of colors was a bit garish, I must admit. Even if he did try to coordinate his panty selection with the latest nail color.

Bill also loved pot. And brewing his own beer. Bill's parties were fun.

Bill was bright - a chemical engineer with a highly paying job with the U.S. Patent office. We were all surprised one day when he announced one day he had quit his job to enroll in beauty school. Bill had decided to become a hairdresser.

That didn't last very long, though. A few months later he announced he had quit school -- a beauty school dropout -- because, "it was all too focused on fashion and looks and stuff." I swear that's what he said.

We all wondered what was next for Bill. It turned out to be Jesus. Bill found God, and he renounced pot, beer, panties and, well, us. I said to the LTR, "I liked Bill more when he was a pot-smoking cross-dresser." We rarely saw Bill at this point, he mostly kept to himself, sitting in a small room on his second floor, reading the Bible and staring at a picture of Christ on the wall.

Bill eventually sold his house and bought land in southern Virginia to become an organic farmer...at least that was the plan. Haven't seen him since.

Our new neighbors are terrific...a typical family. How disappointing.

At least the former stripper still rents the basement apartment next door.