Sunday, April 06, 2008

The Office Newspaper and the John

It's a straight thing and I don't understand.

I've seen it all my professional life. A guy heads out of the office, grabs a newspaper or magazine from the lobby or reception area, and heads for the john.

Ewww.

Then he brings the reading material back and deposits it for the next, um, user.

It occurred to me recently that I've never seen a gay man do this. And I recently checked with the other gay men in my office and they backed me up -- none of us would be caught dead doing such a thing. Some of us go to great lengths to deny the fact that we engage in the practice of, well, you know. The LTR, for example, won't even admit he engages in this practice. Let alone grabbing a newspaper in front of the entire office thus announcing to everyone, "Hey, I'm going to go take a crap!"

I know this isn't limited to gay men...a straight former colleague of mine would leave the office, walk up the street to a deli and use the facilities there for his necessary thing. But he is an exception.

I think almost worst is walking into a stall and seeing a newspaper on top of the TP dispenser or hung from the handicapped rail. I guess at a subconscious level I prefer to think no one else has used the thing before me. The sports page taunts me with the fallacy of my fantasy.

And this practice is definitely a straight thing. I've yet to discover the style section awaiting me in the office john.

Hmm...I'm tempted to start leaving copies of "Better Homes and Gardens" and "Vanity Fair." Will that give them pause?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

To be totally honest, I've never thought about this. I must say that I don't even contemplate reading material in the rest room, as I'm typically just trying to get in and out as rapidly as possible.

However, my former did take hours on the toilet reading a magazine, book or playing on the computer while he did his business.

However, the worst thing to find when I'm going in to take a dump is a religious pamphlet on the tp dispenser. I often wonder how large an outcry there would be if I would take and start leaving homosexual literature in the same place.

Anonymous said...

It is not just limited to reading material. What about those who chose to talk to an officemate while in the adjoining stall? At one of my previous places of employment in the shared restroom on our floor, men from my office would do just that while I was in there (washing my hands! - which the lack of seems to be also symptomatic of straigh me). And how about those guys who make cell phone calls or are on their blackberries while in there like my current boss? Everytime I see his blackberry, it grosses me out.

Anonymous said...

I, too, am there to get in and out. I also don't do the "sit down" business at work. That's for home. And if the need arises when I'm at the office, I'm two miles from home.