More on Faith

During my grandmother's funeral the pastor made the statements you would expect about life after death and being united with departed loved ones in heaven. As I've noted before, I tend to think this is a convenient conceit thought up by humans as preferable to oblivion.

But I don't know. And I want to know more. During the ride back to DC from the funeral, my cousin, who is getting her graduate degree in theology at American University as she prepares to be a minister, shared a book summarizing the world's three major religions.

During Christmas I read a book by Daniel Helminiak, "What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality." During the course of reading that book I pulled out a bible and re-read parts I had long forgotten.

Two digressions:

1) I live in a haunted house. Meaning -- both the LTR and I (and houseguests) have experienced phenomena that can't be explained, like the sound of a woman's voice, footsteps on the floor when no one is there, strange behavior by the dogs acting as if another was present, and, for two houseguests, an apparition. I don't know what to make of all this, but I have heard things in this house that I can't explain. I have therefore witnessed phenomena that could support claims of an afterlife.

2) This has been a tough year for me and I'm lately struggling with debilitating anxiety. Starting my own business was in so many ways freeing but it also put enormous pressure on me. There is no steady paycheck and success or failure is 100 percent my responsibility. That pressure, coupled with my tendency for self-doubt, has sometimes created periods where I am so anxious I can do nothing. I started taking an anxiety medication and it is helping me cope, but it doesn't erase the nagging questions in my mind about whether I am up to the task at hand and able enough to be successful.

With that in mind, the other day I was walking the dogs and a garbage truck went by. On the tailgate was painted: Jerimiah 29:11. I focused on it, wondering what the significance was to that particular verse and thought I should look it up when I got home. Of course, I forgot.

Then, this morning, I was surfing the web, and happened over to a blog called Straight Not Narrow.

I read through a few posts then came across one focused on .....Jerimiah 29:11.

'For I know the plans that I have for you,'' declares the Lord, ''Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future. Then you will call upon Me and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and FIND Me when you seek Me with ALL of your heart.''

This verse seemed oddly relevant to what is happening in my life and my inner mind at the moment that I couldn't believe that I had randomly come across it twice in as many days. Coincidence? I don't know. Or is it like a horoscope where you can read whatever meaning you wish in the prediction. I don't know.

But it sure makes me wonder.