Overcoming Fear

Okay. So, I shared on this blog that I was trying to face up to a few fears as one of my goals for 2007.

I am embarrassed to admit that one of them is the dentist.

Yes, I'm 42, an adult about many things, but this isn't one of them. A week before a dentist appointment I'll start breaking out in cold sweats. If the appointment is, say, Tuesday at noon, a week earlier at Tuesday at noon I'll start the dismal countdown...next week at this time, six days at this time, and so on. I start losing sleep. The night before, I don't sleep. The day of, I can get nothing done. I approach the dentist's chair with an air of doom and fear worthy of the condemned slipping into the electric chair.

I don't know why this is so. I've generally had good dental health and never had serious pain or a problem. I had one bad dentist experience in Jacksonville, Florida where I used to live but that was solved by never going back to him again.

I think part of my fear is the invasion of personal space and a claustrophobic feeling. I don't like being physically close with people I am not otherwise intimate with. And to me the most personal "personal space" is the face and mouth. Think about it -- kissing is the most intimate physical act. To be sure, fucking is perhaps the most intense, but fucking without kissing, while maybe still intense, isn't really that intimate, is it? (Hey, maybe it would help if I was sleeping with my dentist first? But I digress.)

I used to overcome my fears and keep regular dental checkups. But the emotional strain it put on me finally caught up and I began to get lax. I won't tell you how long it's been since my last checkup but I will say George Bush was president.

Anyway, I went to a new dentist last week. I expected the worse ("Scott, we're going to have to amputate your lower jaw). What I got was, "Your teeth are healthy and strong. One cavity. You need a good cleaning. Nothing major."

Woo Hoo! The dentist said it was good diet and lucky genetics. So, thanks mom and dad. And thanks me, because I rarely, rarely eat sweets.

Today I went back for my second visit. I didn't have the pre-visit jitters like I used to. Taking the advice of the LTR, I was able to prevent myself from thinking about it in advance. And I didn't emerge from the dentist's chair soaked with sweat like I usually do.

Of course, the Valium the dentist had prescribed for me to take pre-visit helped. But still, a small step (albeit chemically aided) towards overcoming a fear for 2007. And a large step for better dental hygiene.

Okay, you've made it this far through a long post. Here's a little treat: