Friday, March 16, 2007

I Live. I Think. Or Is It the Other Way Around?

I am recovering from a case of pneumonia.

*gag.ack.barf*

My doctor said, "Scott, you have pneumonia, gurl" last Monday. I was not surprised. I spent Sunday night alternatively burning hot, then freezing cold, feeling like a gian fist was inside my chest contricting my lungs and heart. I thought sure I'd end up in the hospital. Thanks to my Dr. and the pharmaceutical industry, the caring administrations of the LTR and lots of sleep, that did not happen.

Fortuantely, I am well on the road to recovery.

In the spirit of Star Trek: TNG, which I caught on cable several times this week, a level three diagnostic would show:

temperature: operating w/in normal parameters
breathing: 70% online
congestion: minimal
appetitie: 65% online but improving
mental accuity: aside from the drug induced voices I hear inside my head every night after taking the codene-laced cough medicine, 95% online
coughing: 90% abated, except right before bed when the voices make me start coughing so I'll take some more codene-laced cough medicine
libido: offline
voice: Damage reparied from a butch Harvey Fierstein to a slightly nasal tenor

Unfortunately I haven't been much for blogging -- what time I've been able to spend in front of the computer I've used for work. What I've mostly been good at this week is coughing up voluminious amounts of thick rust-brown stained phlegm, which floats like giant splats of santorum in the toilet.

Anyway, I'm back...and as any illness is wont to do, it's caused me to reflect on what I'm doing with this blog and the answer is I'm not sure. I'm still trying to figure that out. In the meantime, I'll try to get caught up with some of the stuff that happened this past week w/out me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are so weird! But that's why I read your blog. I'm glad that you're better now. Pneumonia is not a good thing to have, even if it does produce phlegm that resembles a byproduct named after my former senator. God, you have no idea how nice it is to be able to say that. What a turd nugget.

And speaking of pneumonia and Star Trek: TNG, Borg always made me think of phlegm. "Oh man, I just hacked up a borg." But that's just me.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back. You've been missed. So perhaps you can give us some updates on American Idol, Regis and Kelly, Oprah and The View?