The Cheneys

I know I'm supposed to revile the Cheney's for not pushing for gay rights because Mary is gay. The whole issue resurfaced of course when Mary delivered her baby.

Some in the gay blogopshere are upset that the photo doesn't include the two moms. Yet the howls of outrage from the wingnuts show what a potent image this is, a picture of two beaming grandparents with their newborn grandson. It's a photo of acceptance and love. Sure, it would be great if Heather and Mary were in the photo too. But don't let the perfect defeat the good. I'm a gay dad, and I know how powerful acceptance of a "gay-produced" grandchild can be.

And I also think I have an inkling what it's like in the Cheney family, because it's similar to my own (except for the vice president and millionaire thing).

My parents were raised in the 1940s and 50s. Born and reared in rural America. When I came out to them, in 1993, I was coming out to 1950s values. Those values taught my parents to abhor queers as freaks. Those values also taught my parents to do everything for their children and to love them. My coming out set those two values at war.

I suspect much the same is true in the Cheney household. I suspect that the elder Cheney's reacted as my parents did...accepting me and my partner with open arms while not thinking too deeply about how that conflicted with their beliefs.

I recently asked my Mom, who told me when I informed her I was going to be a Dad that she still regarded homosexuality as a sin, if she regarded the love that my partner and I share "a sin." She said no. I think she was sincere. I didn't press her on how that conflicted with her blanket view of gayness. Perhaps I should have. But -- we're from the Midwest, and we don't "press" issues.

My parents, despite their values, accept the LTR and treat him just as they treated my sister's husband. They accept my son and treat him just as they do their other grandchildren. They love him.

My parents will never join Pflag or march in a gay parade or publicly support any gay issue. But they accept and love their gay family member, me, my partner, and our son. Much as I suspect is the case in the Cheney family.

Dick Cheney, unlike my Dad, is an elected official and he should be taken to task for his views on gay issues. Expecting him to be pro-gay in policy just because he has a gay daughter is unrealistic. That he publicly expresses his love for his legitimate grandson given him by his gay daughter is something.

It will transform. I've seen it.

My parents and their grandson: