My mother is here (which is why I felt comfortable posting scantily clad drawings of man meat earlier as she's sticking her nose in my business in the offline world instead of doing it through my blog).
Aren't mother's supposed to puff us up? Say wonderful things even if they aren't true? Well, somebody forgot to tell my mother.
The warmer weather meant I was lounging around in gym shorts instead of sweats the other night. Now, I'm not a lean guy but my leanest feature are my legs. Hell, my legs were even endorsed by DC Metro!
So we're watching TV and my mother casually comments, "when did you get varicose veins on your legs?"
"What?! Mom, those are just veins. My legs are cut."
"Where? Do you need a bandaid?"
"No...cut, defined, lean...all muscle and vein and sinew."
"Nothing. What's 'sinew' with you?" (you see where I get it from.)
"Very funny, mother."
"Oh. Well, they can do wonderful things with surgery. My friend Dorris across the way had her varicose veins taken out."
"Ok, thanks, mom."
I think she is trying to get back at me for the time when I was a kid and I got mad at her and tried to kill her houseplants. Shouldn't she be past that by now?
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