More on Pride

Mattydale gives a full-throated* defense of the fun of hanging with friends at Pride. As if hanging with friends needs defending, my friend.

I find it necessary to point out I'm not against the fun, partying and hanging with friends that happens at Pride. And in many ways, that's a part of pride rooted in history, as it was the police raid of the Stonewall Inn where gays were gathered to do exactly that that started it all.

But does that justify all the resources, money and importance we place on Pride?

Paul Varnell writing in Independent Gay Forum has some common-sense suggestions for making Pride serve the community in practical ways. They are:

The service organizations that depend on volunteers should strongly encourage their volunteers to march in the parade. For instance, the local community center claims "hundreds" of volunteers. If so, show us. And show the general public our level of community spirit. That might encourage others to volunteer as well.

A generation ago, it was difficult to get any politicians except the most liberal from the safest districts to participate in the parade. Not any longer. The number has now grown quite large as every office holder and political aspirant wants the publicity of being in the parade. So now, in order to qualify for admission to the parade, politicians should have to sign a statement saying they support domestic partner benefits in their office and civil unions or gay marriage. If they don't, what are they doing in OUR parade?

The large corporations that enter floats should have to disclose whether they have a non-discrimination clause, whether they offer domestic partner benefits for gay and lesbian employees, whether they have and support a gay employees organization. And they should be encouraged to indicate any corporate support they have given to gay organizations. That information could be noted in the program booklet for the parade.

So, have fun, everyone attending Pride this weekend. I'll raise my glass to you from the mountains...and to the queers who kicked open the closet doors for all of us 39 years ago at Stonewall.

*"full-throated" It's the other cliche emerging out of the 2008 election cycle.

The Supremes Rescue Habeas

Money Quote from today's 5-4 ruling:

"The laws and Constitution are designed to survive, and remain in force, in extraordinary times."

And this:

Security subsists, too, in fidelity to freedom's first principles. Chief among these are freedom from arbitrary and unlawful restraint and the personal liberty that is secured by adherence to the separation of powers

Any police-state action can be justified as necessary for "our safety." What I take the Supremes to be saying is security, yes, but not at the cost of illegal suspension of civil liberties.

The DNC Goes to Chicago

Obama is moving the political operation of the DNC to Chicago. That's a slick move. I happened to be working at the RNC in the transition from Reagan to George H.W. Bush. There was always tension between the Committee and the Campaign and it seemed difficult to always be on the same page. Indeed it appears that problem is plaguing the RNC and McCain Campaign.

This will help solve that problem for Obama -- and it reinforces the "change" theme.

Brilliant.

Or as a commenter on the TPM story notes, "good to see that the campaign and the DNC will be in the loop."

Where I'll Be This Weekend

While y'all are watching stoned circuit party boys on floats and bidding for bachelor number one to celebrate Pride this weekend, I'll be here.



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What Happens When Politics and Relationships Don't Mix?

(hat tip: DCist).

Spock. An Introvert?

I was on my "it sucks to be an introvert in an extrovert world" kick with a friend and she said Spock was an introvert. Is he? I'm not so sure.

What's Lacking in Pride is a Movement

I shouldn't be so hard on Capital Pride.


Sidebar: Although they somewhat set themselves up for the ridicule. My main reason for being disdainful is that Pride is a lack of purpose pretending to have a purpose. From the Cap Pride's Web Site:

June 6th will kick-off the 33rd annual Capital Pride celebration! This years theme of "History. Vision. Legacy." will allow attendees from near and far to be part of a celebration of what it means to be Proud in our Nation's capital.

The weeklong celebration of educational, civic and social events, will culminate with the landmark parade on Saturday, June 14th and the street festival Sunday, June 15th. (emphasis added).

But if you review the schedule of weeklong events, you find one forum, one interfaith service, and then happy hour, a bachelor auction, a bachelorette auction, a Miss Capitol Pride Pageant, a men's party, a woman's party, a parade and a street festival. Dancing shirtless, bidding on on beefcake and competing drag queens -- this is "what it means to be proud in our nation's capital?" Drop the pretense. It's a party with no purpose other than partying. It's a Mardi Gras.

End Sidebar.

Problem is, there is a vacuum in our community, one that Pride could help begin to fill by being a rallying point. What's missing in Pride is a national gay civil rights movement.

In California a volcano just erupted. Part of the fallout of that event is going to be a backlash at the ballot box this November. Winning there has ramifications for the entire community. It's the beginning of the collapse of legal and political discrimination against gays. If we win.

You couldn't tell that D-Day will be happening this November based on Capital Pride (and the gays in California acted like they've already one, according to this observer).

But, as I said, I'm expecting too much of Pride organizers. Their task is to throw a party, not galvanize a community into a national movement. Problem is, no one is doing this. One might think HRC would be such a vehicle, but HRC is fundamentally a fundraising organization not a civil rights grassroots organization. And it's too in bed with the Democratic Party to take the risks needed for a civil rights movement. Partisans don't like to rock the boat in favor of their incumbents and civil rights movements make waves.

Pride has its pleasures (as this fellow noted). It's just too bad that nearly 40 years after Stonewall our community hasn't been able to form a cohesive national civil rights movement.

Happy Pride.

Police Check Points

You're driving through town. You reach a certain neighborhood and come upon a police checkpoint. You're questioned. Why are you coming into this neighborhood? Do you have appropriate ID? If you don't have your ID, or fail to give a reason for being there that the police officer deems "legitimate" you are turned away.

Where is this? Baghdad? Moscow under the Commie Overlords? Try Washington, D.C. Capital of the free world.

The checkpoints were put in place around a DC neighborhood called Trinidad in Northeast where there was a violent outbreak of crime. DC Police Czar Chief Cathy Lanier justifies the measure as necessary to protect the citizens and, after all, she says, people have to go through checkpoints to get on a plane or go to an event.

The crime warrants an increased police presence in the neighborhood but not the police-state-like harassment of law abiding citizen who should be able to move freely around their home city. In Baltimore, they have reduced crime without resorting to Commie tactics (according to the WaPo):

Police in Baltimore, where there has been a 36 percent decrease in homicides and shootings this year, said they attribute that to targeting violent criminals and improving relationships with members of the community.

"You lock up the baddest of the bad in part by working with people in the neighborhood," Baltimore police spokesman Sterling Clifford said. "You look to people in the neighborhood to tell you who they are and where they are."

Which leads me to ask -- can you tell the difference between DC Police Chief Cathy Lanier and the Communist?

The Fall Campaign Shapes Up

And in some ways it seems like the primary campaign all over again, with McCain standing in for Hillary.

McCain, "maverick"image notwithstanding, is the "experience" candidate who is now trying to twist Obama's "change" message into his own slogan (change you can believe in). Remember Clinton's "fairy tale" meme? Her attempts to portray herself as having 35 years of experience making change? It didn't work for her, and I doubt it will work for McCain.

Like in the primary, where Obama was the underdog in delegate-rich states, Obama is the underdog in states with a lot of Electoral College votes. He will seek to make it up in other states to replicate what he did in the primary -- offset losses in big states with multiple victories in smaller ones. In fact, he has announced a "50-state" strategy. It will be interesting to see if he can push McCain to pour money into states that should be a "wash" for him, as he did to Hillary in Pennsylvania.

Finally, we'll let George Will have the last word. He says current polls are meaningless because Obama has shattered their turnout models.

Reason Number Nine Why I'm Not Going to Capital Pride

I actually tried to visit the Capital Pride Web site because there was actually something POSITIVE I wanted to say about Pride this year and I needed to get the info...but their Web site was down.

Anyway, I'll give another reason for not going to Pride instead:

Last Year.

Last year sucked. From the parade marshals who screamed and pushed us the entire length of the Pride Parade to the announcers at the reviewing stand whose sole purpose was to denigrate the participants OF the parade, I simply had a lousy time.

Cliche of the 2008 Campaign

The 2006 campaign gave us "at the end of the day." It was the most commonly used phrase by newscasters, politicians and pundits when making a point.

In 08, the word is "pivot." Notice how often this word is creeping into public discourse about the campaign. As in, "the long primary campaign now over, Obama will pivot to focus on the fall campaign against John McCain."

Or, "after remarking on the historic nature of her own candidacy, Clinton pivoted to tout her support for the historic campaign of Barack Obama."

It's even made it as a Wall Street Journal headline:

After Mixed Primary Performance, Pollsters Pivot Toward November

Clearly, for 2008, this word is, well, pivotal.

Way Out There in the Blue

Riding on a smile and a shoeshine*.

Sales call today...and I look absolutely spiff in a brown suit, lavender shirt and tasteful purple tie. And, my new brown dress shoes I bought yesterday for the occasion.

Other than that, I have nothing to say for once.

*know the source for this quote? Anyone?

Reason Number Seven Why I'm Not Going To Capital Pride This Year

The Pride Parade's Grand Marshall: Bruce Villanch.

Now, I mean no disrespect to Mr. Villanch. But with all that's happened historically for our movement in the past year, he is the best person to lead off the Pride Parade in the Nation's Capital? Really?

By the way, the theme of this year's Pride (did you know Pride had a "theme?"):

History, Vision, Legacy.

Yes, Villanch represents that theme very well, doesn't he.

Her Speech

One thing that stuck out, to me, was that she clearly didn't want to be president. She wanted to be the First Woman President. That someone else is getting the nomination when she was supposed to have been inevitable AND that person will claim the mantle of being the First Black President, thus beating Hillary in two ways, had to deeply rankle.

Yet, it was a stunning speech. Brava.

What's in a Speech

That sure was an exciting speech John McSame McCain gave Tuesday night, no? You know, the endless repetition of "that's not change we can believe in" followed by the creepy smile that looks like he just said something sexually inappropriate to an underage female relative.

Question to McCain staff: Why would you put your candidate -- not the best orator -- up against a victorious candidate who is a gifted one?

Drudge today carried a link to an article with the headline, "McCain says substance matters more than style." Funny -- that's what Democrats used to say about Ronald Reagan.

Anyway, all of this got me thinking -- is speechifying that important for a President?

I would argue, yes. If you look at most of our greatest presidents they were all great orators.

Lincoln gave good speech
Kennedy gave good speech
Reagan gave good speech (I know not all of you will agree with me that he was a "great" president)


And Obama gives good speech.

With a vast majority of Americans saying our country is on the wrong track, we need a president who can not only unify us but inspire us to a new direction.

That president will not be John McCain

Stuck

The Hidden Ceiling: Introverts at Work

Once again, I am an introvert.

I've no doubt this has hurt my career. A former boss used to get really mad at me after meetings. "Speak up!" she would say. "You're too deferential!" Actually, I was processing what all the idiot extros were saying.

My hunch is that if i were competing against someone else with the same age and background, but who is more extroverted, I would lose.

The Psychology 101 Web site says:

Since North American culture promotes teamwork and communication, introverts at work may struggle professionally. Extroverts at work enjoy attention, network well, and are good at marketing themselves. These qualities make them appear to be better at their jobs than introverts at work, but appearances are often deceiving.

Recently, as I've shared, my current boss said, "you're not the most outgoing person." It was not a compliment. Another co-worker recently semi-jokingly referred to me as "aloof."

So I've decided to launch a Scott Outreach campaign. Each day I'm sticking my head in a co-worker's office to banter. The campaign is having some immediate results -- co-workers are now poking their heads into my office with greater frequency.

It's interrupted my work and slowed my productivity down...but hey, at least I'm "coming out of my shell."

Bob Burnham

Bob Burnham is a 17 year old comedian. I liked this clip for its wordplay. He has other funny bits on You Tube...check out Rehab for Fictional Characters.

Where No Man Has Gone Before

Mr. Sulu is getting hitched.

The Torch Has Been Passed

Reuters Says Not So Fast...

At this point, what possible interest does she serve by denying Obama his victory lap?

Is it Over?

AP says so.

And how Clintonesque. It's not a concession but an acknowledgment that he has the delegates to get the nomination.

Why Republicans Are Good at Winning

From the Illinois state finance committee's letter urging Clinton supporters to stay firm:

We also know she is the Democratic candidate best able to beat John McCain in the fall. One thing we are certain of is that the Republicans are good at winning elections. We, as Democrats, allowed them to win the last two contests, and we cannot afford to let that happen again.

(via Politico).

Well, yes. It's much easier for Republicans to win elections when the Democrats are so good at tearing each other apart. Claims that voters in two states were wrongly "disenfranchised" and constant attacks on Obama's electability, claims that she is denied the nomination somehow because she is a woman, all that will leave Democrats embittered and fractured. As a Republican president understood so well, houses divided don't stand.

And that's why Republicans are "good at winning elections."

Oh -- this just in: Hillary is ahead in the popular vote in states ending in vowels that were founded in an odd-numbered year.

Spanish Lessons

Since "retiring" from conducting the band I've been mulling over what to tackle next.

One thought is to take Spanish lessons. I've always wanted to learn and I can get by to some degree on what little I remember from my high school Spanish classes.

I'm looking into getting a tutor. I'd rather someone come to my home than have to rush somewhere for a class.

But then it occurs to me: I'm an introvert. I really don't like to talk that much.

So now I'm not going to talk to people in two languages?

Speed Limit on the Capitol Crescent Trail

Park officials have decided to impose a 15 mph speed limit on cyclists on the Capitol Crescent Trail, one of the most popular trails in the DC region. It was an arbitrary decision made without an opportunity for hearing or public comment.

And one that will have little impact on public safety -- if any.

Yes, there are unsafe cyclists. But as someone who is one these trails every day, it's the pedestrians who pose the greatest safety hazards to cyclists and to themselves.

Each day I see:

Peds wearing Ipods oblivious to traffic around them.
Ditto peds talking on cell phones
Dog walkers with their dogs unleashed
Dog walkers with their dogs on long leashes with the dog darting back and forth across the trail
Peds walking two or three abreast blocking the trail in both directions and who fail to heed to passing warnings
And, in my book, the worst: walking the wrong way on the path.

Cyclists have the Washington Area Bicyclists Association which promotes trail sharing and safety.

If there is a pedestrian equivalent I've not heard of it.

And why 15 mph? How did they arrive at that magic number. While the average cycling speed varies greatly, some have pegged it around 12.5 mph. So will 15 mph encourage the average cyclists to speed up and improve their speed?

A safe cyclist will slow down on a crowded trail and be as predictable as possible in his or her movements, warning those they pass. Most cyclists are aware of the rules of the road and adhere to them. It seems to me many pedestrians are not aware and act as if the trails belong to them. Recently I gave a warning -- as required -- as I passed a pedestrian on the GW trail. She raised her hands at me in indignation as if to say I was being rude to her and that she wasn't doing anything wrong.

At night I am shocked by the number of peds on the trails with dark clothing, no reflective material and no light. Do they have a death wish?

The move to enact the speed limit is being portrayed as "educational." Fine. But focusing just on the cyclists on the trails misses the bulk of the problem.

On this Day in 1964

The Beatles single "Love Me Do" hits number 1.
Julie Andrews is best actress in "Mary Poppins."
Gilligan's Island, the Dick Van Dyke show and the Beverly Hillbillies are hits on TV.
The Easy Bake oven is a top new toy.
"Why We Can't Wait" by Martin Luther King is a top selling book (fierce urgency of now, anyone?).
Jackie Kennedy lays flowers on her martyred husband's grave.

And, oh yeah. I was born.

Introverts of the World Unite!

Problem is, get us all in a room and no one would say anything.

Look -- I'm an introvert. My boss recently reminded me of this when talking about a problem inter-personal relationship between me and another in my office, and she remarked, "you're not the most outgoing person in the world."

Who knew she had a gift for understatement?

I'm tired of feeling bad that I'm an Introvert. It's time to claim a little Introvert Pride (Instead of protests we'll have "think-ins." The silence will speak volumes).

First, a definition: an introvert gets his energy from within, an extrovert from without. It's not that we Intros are shy, per se, look, I spent the weekend at a nude beach. But, as an introvert, I need some alone time to recharge after being with a lot of people; an extrovert gets his energy from a lot of people. As a psychology web site says:

Introverts tend to get their energy from within, so being with people is draining. After a day filled with people or activities, introverts tend to feel exhausted and empty. To recharge their batteries introverts need to be alone reading, daydreaming, painting, or gardening – any solo activity fills them up again.

One of the things introverts hate is small talk. I find it boring and repetitive and not worth the energy it takes me to participate. How many times in our lives do we have to say the same things over and over about the weather being too hot or too cold or the fact that weathermen suck? Small talk about the weather just means we are emitting more personal carbon dioxide and making global warming worse. If we all stopped making small talk about it being "hot enough for ya?" how many polar bears could we save?

Being stereotypically gay in one aspect -- I don't follow ANY team sport -- adds to the problem of being a small-talk-hating introvert. Let's face it, sports is a conversation ice breaker. And my attempts at participating have been met with disaster. Years ago, waiting for a business meeting to begin, someone mentioned how exciting the "tournament" had been the night before. Now, I had watched the men's figure skating championships the previous evening. Here was small talk I could participate in that I found interesting! I quickly chimed in, "yes, Brian Boitano was fabulous!" Everyone looked at me. Of course they were talking about the NBA tournament. I think that has something to do with basketball. Small talk is better left to the extroverts.

Jonathan Rauch, an admitted practicing introvert has written that we Intros are persecuted:

The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

Despite the oppression we Intros face we are successful. George Washington was an Introvert. Ronald Reagan was probably one too. Most actors and artists are. Even successful business men. Warren Buffet? Yup. Albert Einstein? Of course. Queen Elizabeth? A practicing Intro!

So yes, I am an introvert and proud of it. We're here. We're quiet. Get used to it.

Larry Craig, Tapping Back to the Bathroom

Tapping, on his keyboard, that is.

Yes, Larry Craig is writing a book. And yes, he's taking us there:

"There will be a bit of what's happened in the last year, and the way it evolved,” Craig said. “I think that's important for Idaho and those outside Idaho who are interested to know."

Really?

Let's hope he doesn't give us diagrams -- or, God forbid, pictures -- of his supposed "wide stance."

Could someone please get this man some help?

En Route to Louisville

From the beach to the Bluegrass state. Hopefully. Currently delayed in foggy gloomy Cleveland.

In the security line at National this morning there was a young soldier in desert fatigues. He started to remove his boots when the TSA agent told him he didn't have to, after showing his military ID. Good, I thought -- the young men and women who put their lives on the line for our security shouldn't have to endure the same indignities we do.

When I got through security, quickly reclaimed my stuff, I saw him again, this time in the search area, and he was taking off his boots. He'd been tagged for some reason, and was busy removing every bit of medal from his body and uniform before being frisked.

I know the TSA agent was just doing his job. It just seemed wrong.

Tales from the Naturist/Naked/Nekkid (whatever) Beach

Day two at the nude beach was sunny, clear and warm and the beach was more crowded and more diverse. Every age, shape and size. And by size you know what I mean and I think you do.

I said to the LTR: Wow, that guy's got a huge rod.

The LTR looks at the fisherman walking down the beach carrying his gear. The LTR punched me.

Yes, they fish naked here.

And play volleyball naked.

At our guesthouse we met a lesbian couple who planned to have a holy union the next day at the beach. They met four months ago, at a Home Depot. It wasn't long before they moved in together and, now, this. Well, at least they weren't conforming to stereotype.

Also met a 40s something DC guy at the beach who was staying in Asbury Park, 15 miles further south, because there's a gay bar there. "There's no nightlife here" he said, meaning Highlands where we were staying. From the looks of him he should skip the nightlife and take a nap. For about two years.

We're going back later this summer.

Meanwhile, at the Naturist Beach

You ever have one of those dreams where you're standing in front of everyone naked?

Well, the LTR and I spent the day at Gunnison Beach, where exposing all your parts to the sun is not only legal but expected. This is our second trip here.

It was very relaxing and the LTR fell asleep after lunch. I was restless, and took a walk. While I was gone, he woke up. He said he didn't know where he was, he was alone, and he was naked! After a few seconds the panic was gone and he put it together. Until he realized that the magazine he had been reading fell on his lap while he slept. And while he sweat. So he had a big ink stain across his, well, interior. At least it was a painless way to get a tattoo there.

Two observations about the naturist beach (even people who take off all the clothes have politically correct terminology, you musn't say "nude").

1) The clientele here skews fat. Not just out of shape but moridly obese. Now, this doesn't bother me as I'm no model either. And I'm not here to look at naked people who turn me 0n (I have the Internet for that). I'm here to experience being natural outdoors. But there is enough common obesity to make me wonder if it is a constant in the naturist community? And if so, why? Is it a way of saying "fuck you" to our Abercrombie and Fitch obsessed culture?

2) If you're going to sunbathe at a nude beach, take your clothes off. Here at Sandyhook there are multiple beaches to choose from and only one naturist beach. So if you are on the naturist beach donning a bathing suit you're only there for one reason -- to gawk. To me it's the only perverse thing about the beach. You. In the wet clingly bathing suit. Take it off or get out. We fat naked people don't like you staring at us.

Life's a Beach

The LTR and I did something astounding. We actually made reservations at Sandy Hook Cottage, a bed and breakfast (where they celebrate diversity, wink-wink, nod-nod) on the Jersey shore for the holiday weekend.

Usually, about a week or less before a major holiday, one of us will say to the other, "Hey, it's a holiday weekend. Let's go somewhere." Hilarity ensues as we scramble to find a place -- anyplace -- with an availability. So far no one has laughed in our face two days before oh, New Year's Day weekend and we asked for a room. I think they save the derisive laughter for after they hang up. Then we usually resign ourselves to a weekend of yard work.

But, anyway, back in Feb. it dawned on me that they'd be holding Memorial Day weekend again this year and I booked us a room -- the Captain's Quarters if you want to check it out.

Looks like there are lots of things to do there, from shopping, hiking, museums and of course the nude beach at Sandy Hook.

Have a safe and fun Memorial Day weekend. I feel sorry for you poor slobs who didn't plan ahead. Enjoy your yard work.

Race in the Race in Kentucky

Sully shows the uglier side of things.

Ellen and McCain, Part II

When I was growing up, I remember a news show where they interviewed a "practicing homosexual." The man was afraid -- ashamed was the implication -- to show his face and they kept him in shadows. Being gay was so bad you couldn't show your face. The love that dare not speak its name and all that.

Fast forward to yesterday, and on one of America's most popular daytime talk shows a lesbian host talks about her upcoming wedding with another woman with the Republican nominee for president, and with the audience cheering on it's the straight man in the room who looks awkward and uncomfortable.

Incredible.

Ellen v. McCain

She's been criticized for de-emphasizing her gayness in favor of celebrity. That can be said no more. Perhaps she was waiting for a moment when it would matter most. I'd say this is pitch perfect:

ELLEN DeGENERES: Yeah, I mean, I think that it's -- it is looked at -- and some people are saying the same -- that blacks and women did not have the right to vote. I mean, women just got the right to vote in 1920. Blacks didn't have the right to vote until 1870. And it just feels like there is this old way of thinking that we are not all the same. We are all the same people, all of us. You're no different than I am. Our love is the same. To me -- to me, what it feels like -- just, you know, I will speak for myself
-- it feels -- when someone says, "You can have a contract, and you'll still have insurance, and you'll get all that," it sounds to me like saying, "Well, you can sit there; you just can't sit there." That's what it sounds like to me. It feels like -- it doesn't feel inclusive...It feels -- it feels isolated. It feels like we are not -- you know, we aren't owed the same things and the same wording.

SENATOR JOHN McCAIN: Well, I've heard you articulate that position in a very eloquent fashion. We just have a disagreement. And I, along with many, many others, wish you every happiness.

ELLEN DeGENERES: Thank you. So you'll walk me down the aisle? Is that what you're saying?

SENATOR JOHN McCAIN: Touche.

ELLEN DeGENERES: Well, my hope is someday it won't be called a contract; it will be called marriage.

Something Foul at Meet the Press?

Forget the 2008 election. Forget Florida and Michigan and Veep choices. Iraq? Fuhgetabboutit. global warming? Phooey.

Here's the REALLY BIG ISSUE:

Did he or didn't he?

The Complete Guide to Proper Cornholing

Why not? There's a DIY guide for everything. And the author clearly sees a need:

“I’ve noticed in recent years most people don’t have a clue about proper cornholing technique. Improper approach, poor follow-through, and generally sloppy form will invariably lead you too far to the left and that’s NO good for anyone involved.”

Tip Number One:

First, you must get everything set up and ready. Proper cornholing requires a lot of space. You need plenty of room so that there are no unwelcome collisions with your sack.

Read the entire guide to proper cornholing, complete with helpful photos and illustrations.

He's Trying to Kill Me

The LTR (state record holder in VA for bench press in his age and weight class for two years running) put together a new workout for me. He sent it to me this morning. After reviewing it I emailed him back:

That's torture! I said.

No, he wrote. It's just "Enhanced Workout Techniques!"

Andrew Sullivan, call your office.

Homosexuality in the Wild

In a Fox News (Fox News!) article about scientists finding rampant evidence of animals in the wild exhibiting homosexual behavior and advocating San Francisco values, many speculate why evolution would favor such practices.

One reason may be simply because it feels good:

Not every sexual act has a reproductive function," said Janet Mann, a biologist at Georgetown University.

Clearly an activist scientist.

But she goes on:

"It could be a way that you strengthen bonds — that's one hypothesis," Mann told LiveScience. "Another is that it could be practice for heterosexual sex. Bottlenose dolphin calves mount each other a lot. That might benefit them later on."

Oh. So that's where the term "practicing homosexual" comes from.

But the one thing unique to humans with regards to homosexuality?

Homophobia.

Top Gay-Friendly Vacation Spots

Take Gambia off the list.

Euphonic Gumshoe

Never came home from a night at Drew's place.

At least he's not been heard from on his blog since May 7.

Should we send Clarice to look around?

No Place in American Politics

Of the picture of the voter with the Obama-Curious George tee shirt, a reader writes:

Scott, for what's it worth as a moderate GOPer, I think this kind of crap is out of place in America.

But then, I thought that same thing when I saw HRC and CodePink posters being carried in DC back in 2004 with pictures of W kissing KarlRove or pictures of Laura Bush with slogans like "You can't trust her! She killed her childhood friend!"

It has no place in American politics.

Well, first, the Curious George slur.

It saddened me. That someone would vote against Obama because of his race or his supposed religion is galling. That a voter would proudly tout a racist image was painful to see. But it is her right to express her political opinions as she see fit, even if it offends me -- and it does.

But as sad as it makes me, it's her right to say it (just as it's my right to ridicule and mock it).

Regarding the HRC pictures:

It's not how I would choose to express my grievances with the Bush Administration. But I'm not sure that I see it on the equal to the Obama smear. What is so offensive? A gay kiss? The disrespect? The cartoonish aspect?

Presidents have been disrespectfully mocked and pilloried in cartoons since the Republic began. I revere Abraham Lincoln -- yet in my office hang two prints of cartoons disrespectfully lampooning him. It goes with the territory.

Or maybe it's the idea of a gay kiss that offends you?

Look, any long-time reader of this blog knows I think the HRC is ineffective, and they blew it in 2004 with their George W you're fired campaign. But I'm curious Mich-Matt. Why are you so offended that you would seemingly ban those images from political discourse?

The Black Knight Scene

"What you gonna do, bleed on me?" It's about all Hillary, er, the Black Knight, has left.

Dana Milbank, Hillary and the Black Knight

Remember the Black Knight scene in Monty Python where King Arthur keeps hacking off the limbs of his foe the Black Knight, who insists his wounds are no more than a scratch? Until he's devoid of arms and legs?

Washington Post political columnist Dana Milbank (whom I find oddly sexy, in a political geek sort of way) likens Hillary to the Black Knight in his column today, a must read.

I loved this line:

We're here in a gym," Clinton correctly observes.

But, Milbank points out, that's about the only correct observation she has about her own chances of winning.

Obama's ahead by every measure relevant to the Democratic Party's nomination process. But, as Milbank observes:

"There is no way that this is gonna end anytime soon," vows Knight Clinton, standing her ground at the bridge.

Washington Post's Gay Distinctions

The WashPo editorializes today that the California Supreme Court "meddled" in the gay marriage debate in California.

Yes, how troublesome that the California Supremes made a ruling about the California state constitution. Interlopers.

Before I get to the substance of the Post Editorial, let me say this about the "activist judges" nonsense. I could see that term applying if the Court, bored one day said, hey, let's make gay marriage legal! The Gays will be dancing in the streets!

No, what happened here and in other cases, a minority pressed for a legal decision about whether their constitutional rights were being infringed. And the court made a decision in response to the minority. That's their job.

To the editorial -- the Post says that the California supremes:

correctly recognized that government bears the highest burden if it decides to treat differently the relationships between opposite-sex and same-sex couples.

And so the California court ruled that the government did not meet that burden. And the Post wants to second guess -- i.e., "meddle" -- that decision. The Post makes an odd distinction, saying the U.S. Supreme Court acted correctly in finding that separate was not equal when it comes to school segregation (Brown v. Brd of Education) but that rationale can't apply to gay folk wanting to get married:

This is a far cry from the California experience with the rights of same-sex couples. The state's elected representatives passed sweeping legislation in 1999 that gave same-sex couples near legal parity with their opposite-sex counterparts; that landmark legislation has been amended over the years to expand the rights of gay couples. Before the court ruling, same-sex couples in California had virtually the same -- not separate, but the same -- legal rights as heterosexual couples, insofar as state law can grant that.

Emphasis added. The key words here are "near" and "virtually" the same rights. We gay folk are supposed to be grateful we're granted nearly and virtually the same rights as straight people. How dare we question whether or not that's okay in a society supposedly based on the notion of equal protection under the laws.

The California Court looked at the California state constitution and agreed separate is not equal. All three branches of California's government are now on record supporting the rights of gay people not to be discriminated against by marriage.

It's too bad the Post thinks that "virtually" equal is just fine for gay Americans.

Menu Change

I've said before I have no practical skills and this is certainly true in the kitchen. The LTR was traveling this weekend and he asked me to set out the chicken to thaw Sunday for dinner Monday.

Actually, he said for me to set out the "pterodactyl" as he usually buys these really HUGE mammoth whole chickens that could easily be mistaken for the giant prehistoric birds (and unlike Giant's cuts of beef which are usually so gristly and tough that they probably ARE prehistoric, these birds are actually very good). And so we call chicken, "pterodactyl."

So Sunday I dutifully complied, awarding myself good husband points for completing a honey-do task without a reminder.

The LTR just returned home and I emailed him and asked him how things were there.

He replied, "Ok. I'm a little surprised that you set out a 14 pound turkey for dinner."

Oops.

Well, like I said, no practical skills...

The Real McCain

McCain gets the sniper fire in Bosnia treatment.

The Onion's Election Glossary

Pretty funny.

Example:

• MoveOn.org

  A company offering routine tests of your e-mail's spam filter.

And:

• hope

  An intangible object within every American that is destroyed every four years in November.

Are Politicians Failing Our Lobbyists?

Hat Tip: Adam S.

History Boys

Two things stood out after seeing The History Boys at D.C.'s Studio Theater last night.

One was the fact that (typically) of the two gay lead characters one ends up dead and the other ends up a loser and a loner. There can be no happy gays on the stage. Tangentially, it struck me as odd that the school boys would accept one of their own -- "Datkin," played by Jay Sullivan -- gleefully seeking an affair with a young male professor. The play is set in the 1980s and I don't recall that sort of openness about bisexuality. Oh wait, this is set in England, well, cheerio and pip pip. Perhaps Margaret Thatcher's Great Britain was more progressive than we thought it was.

The other thing that stood out was ensemble actor Adam Foss (pictured). He's a beautiful young man and he moved energetically and gracefully about the stage. He didn't have much else to do, but of the boys he seemed the most innocent, eager and mischievous. And he was just plain fun to watch. I hope to see him in a meatier role in the future.

Okay, I said, two things, but here's a bonus:

There's a scene where the audience is waiting for the student Datkin to make a move on his young professor (shortly after Datkin invites the prof. to "suck me off"). Man, could you feel the tension in the theater and everyone was rapt. It's one of those collective live theater experiences that make it worth going to the theater.

Queery -- 20 Gay Questions

The Blade feature with my answers to their 20 "gay" questions. Let me know what you think.

California Supreme Court Decision on Same Sex Marriage

The right is making predictable noises on the California Supreme Court decision on same sex marriage, about activist judges and the will of the legislature being overturned.

The CA legislature has twice voted in FAVOR of same sex marriage.

The elected governor of CA, Ah-nold, supports the CA Supremes' decision.

Now the right will strike back with a ballot initiative to make same sex marriage unconstitutional. Which is their right to try and do.

And we must stop them. And the polls are moving in our direction. Winning in CA on this issue should become the number one gay civil rights issue in the nation. More important than Hillary. Or Obama.

Do you get it, HRC?

Hillary: Waving to Imaginary Friends

Things must be getting to Hillary -- she's waving to imaginary friends. In a tick-tock piece Dana Milbank of the WashPo wrote about Hillary's day during the West Virginia primary:

2:57 p.m., Yeager Airport, Charleston, W.Va.: A steep descent brings Clinton's plane to Charleston's hilltop airport. After an appropriate wait, she steps from the plane and pretends to wave to a crowd of supporters; in fact, she is waving to 10 photographers underneath the airplane's wing. She pretends to spot an old friend in the crowd, points and gives another wave; in fact, she is waving at an aide she had been talking with on the plane minutes earlier.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. There is no man behind the curtain. But of course, Hillary's not the only one who does it. A reader in a chat on the Post asked Milbank if others do it too. He says:

Bush does it all the time, waving to the photographers as if he's greeting a campaign rally. What was unique about the Clinton arrival in West Virginia was how she singled out one woman in the crowd with a special wave, indicating how surprised and delighted she was to see her. The woman was a press aide who had just been with Clinton on the flight from Washington. She waved back, dutifully.

Leave it to Clinton to take fakery to a whole new level. Hey, can't you news media guys turn the cameras and report what's really going on? Isn't that your job?

Curious George as Obama 08

So much for "post racial."

It's Appalachia

It's my native neck of the woods that's giving Obama his problems. Josh Marshall explains how Appalachia is the common denominator in Obama's losses to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Denied. Quote of note:

There's been a lot of talk in this campaign about Barack Obama's problem with working class white voters or rural voters. But these claims are both inaccurate because they are incomplete. You can look at states like Virginia, Ohio, Pennsylvania and other states and see the different numbers and they are all explained by one basic fact. Obama's problem isn't with white working class voters or rural voters. It's Appalachia. That explains why Obama had a difficult time in Ohio and Pennsylvania and why he's getting crushed in West Virginia and Kentucky.

If it were just a matter of rural voters or the white working class, the pattern would show up in other regions. But by and large it does not.

Read the whole insightful post here.

How Gay Am I Part II

So gay that I pumped iron this morning while listening to "Lonely Goatherd" from the Sound of Music on my Ipod. I practically skipped through the gym.

The very fact I have "Lonely Goatherd" on my Ipod I think qualifies me as pretty gay, let alone working out to it. And now I have stuck in my head. And now so do you.

Half Breed

This sentiment seems to have been present in West Virginia:

Karen Seifert, a volunteer from New York, was outside of the largest polling location in Lackawanna County, Pa., on primary day when she was pressed by a Clinton volunteer to explain her backing of Obama. "I trust him," Seifert replied. According to Seifert, the woman pointed to Obama's face on Seifert's T-shirt and said: "He's a half-breed and he's a Muslim. How can you trust that?"

No, not everyone in West Virginia who voted for Clinton voted because of these base sentiments. But it would seem a lot of them did.

So for them, I dedicate this song:

The Blade Queery Update

Well, I completed my questions and I don't think I sound too much like a geezer. A little, maybe. I'll post a link here when the article is published.

The Blade photographer, Henry Linser, came buy last night to shoot me. I hate having my photo taken. It didn't help that I found Henry to be very attractive and his tee-shirt kept creeping up when he lifted the camera and my eye so wanted to wander to see if he had a happy trail.

Okay, so I'm old and resorting to troll-like behavior. It's inevitable, isn't it?

What Kind of Elitist Are You? (Mandatory Quiz for Obama Supporters)

Since I'm for Obama, and therefore by default and guilt by association, I'm an elitist.

I decided to find out just what kind of elitist I am, and took the elitist quiz. My result said:

Your CD collection is almost as big as your ego, and you can most likely play an instrument or three. You're a real hit at parties, but you're SO above karaoke.
What people love: You're instant entertainment. Unless you play the oboe.
What people hate: Your tendency to sing louder than the radio and compare everything to a freaking song.

Well, actually, my ego is much bigger than my ample CD collection. And I can play three instruments, one of the them well, one of them ok and the other, well, at least it's not the oboe.

And I don't compare everything to a freaking song. They're called symphonies, dahling. And hand me that bottle of Chablis.

Questions I'm Afraid to Answer

I got this note from an editor at the Washington Blade:

Yes, we'd really like to have you be the Queery feature for next week's paper. This is where we ask someone 20 questions and then print the answers alongside an introductory paragraph and a photo. People really seem to enjoy doing it, and I know it's a popular feature among readers. Given your long history with the Different Drummers, I think you'd be a great person for this.

The problem is, this isn't going to reveal my "long history" with DCDD, it's going to reveal my long history as a post 20 30 40s gay man (my 44th birthday is later this month. Mourners may send a charitable donation to DCDD in lieu of flowers).

Consider some of the questions:

7. What has been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

Do I answer truthfully that I remember when Roots was first aired -- the first mega mini-series on network TV? The release of the first Star Wars movie in 1977? The death of Elvis? When Marcia got hit by the football when the Brady Bunch was not yet in syndication but still on the air? I can even remember when Sonny was married to Cher.

Or how about this one:

9. What item of clothing has been in your closet since high school?

I'd like to say I have nothing that I wore in high school 26 fucking years ago but today while cleaning the house I actually found a belt I wore back then with a (no kidding) tuba-shaped belt buckle. Hey, I was a band geek. But is that an answer I really want in print? Do I really need to let the world know how much of a nerd I was back then? (And looking back on it now and thinking about me wearing that belt it's no wonder I didn't go on many dates)

And then there's this one:

3. What is Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?

Well, let's see...past best nightspot: my bedroom. Okay, not really, but back in the day my club of choice was Rascals on Connecticut Ave. Three floors of gay fun, first floor dancing and drag shows, second floor bar and movies (non-porn), third floor strippers. Anyone but me remember Joey or Francois? And the LTR and I had our first Friday night date there...we ended up sucking face on the third floor ignoring (and annoying) the strippers. It's long gone now, having been swallowed by Riggs Bank (now PNC) which bought out the block back in the mid-90s.

Present nightspot? Once again, my bedroom, where the LTR and I are usually fast asleep by 10. Let me climb off my bedpan so I can take some more Geritol.

Here's one question I can answer:

2. Who’s your gay hero?

Batman.

I mean, that one's easy.

Postcards from April 08

Some snapshots of Eli's visit in April. Highlights included a trip to Akron for Grandpa Ray's 79th birthday party; attending Daddy's last concert, a trip to the Smithsonian to see Imax Dinosaurs in 3D; a trip to the Reston Petting Zoo and Great Falls. Double click to go to my pisca album for captions.

How to Spell in Hawaiian

A few simple rules to master is all it takes:

Use all five vowels in every word.
Separate them with an L a K or a P
Use random apostrophes

It's that easy!

She's Dead, Jim

She reminds me of the Bruce Willis character in Sixth Sense...dead but unaware..the political undead.

How Gay Am I?

So gay, I listened to "Part of that World" from The Little Mermaid (Broadway version) on my Ipod while watching the sunset off Oahu (yes, I'm in Hawaii).

Well, it's happier than Barber's Adagio for Strings which is also on my playlist!

But What's In Her Nightstand?

Hillary answered one of those Metro Weekly-like surveys that included questions like, what public figure, living or dead, would you go on a date with if Bill would give you a "pass" for one night?

Her answer: Abraham Lincoln.

Ugh. Now, I'd definitely include Lincoln in my "pick three people living or dead you'd invite to a dinner party" (I'd also invite Jesus -- think of the money I'd save by not having to buy wine). But would I date him? Nah.

I'd pick Alexander the Great. Why?

1) Hotter, beefier thighs than Lincoln.
2) A ride on an elephant.
3) Cairo as a post-date gift.
4) Three-way with Hephaestion

Sure, Lincoln would take you the theater but then all you get is blood-stained dress.

But I wonder...what IS in Hillary's nightstand? Any guesses?

Lonely Dog Night

Our big dog, Buster, came to bed with us last night.

In his younger days, Buster and his older "sister" always slept with us.

Then, arthritis made the stairs too difficult. Buster was the first to give in, and we got him a dog bed which we put by the back door of the house. Truthfully, I like having him there -- a better sentry we could not ask for. He's already stopped countless squirrels from breaking into the house.

Ranger, the younger dog, who has insisted to be next to me in bed since I rescued her, lasted longer. Then for some strange reason she wouldn't stay in bed but would lay on the floor. We'd pick her up and put her back but she'd jump right off again. Then, because of the brittleness of her bones (she's 15) we realized the wisdom of letting sleeping dogs lie. Now she's too weak to attempt the stairs and we don't carry her up any more for fear of her falling down them at night.

So it's always a bit of surprise when Buster decides to join us in bed these days. What makes him endure the risky flights of stairs? Was he having a bad dream? Where the squirrels chasing him? Or did he just wake up in a quiet house and miss companionship? Do dogs have the 3 a.m. heebie jeebies where every little thing you ever worried about rises like a specter to taunt you into restless half wakefulness? (and since dogs can't use phones, they can't call Hillary for help).

Whatever the reason, I awoke to a warm mound of fur curled up next to me. One bonus -- when Buster pants, being a big dog, the entire bed shakes, like one of those cheap vibrating beds at hotel pay-by-the-hour. Except with Buster, you don't even have to put a quarter in.

But the need for companionship wasn't limited to the canine side of the family. About 6 am I heard the pitter-patter of clawless feet, opened my eyes and saw two little hands on the side of the bed, and then a blond head came into view as Eli pulled himself up into bed and crawled under the covers between Pappa and me.

So there we were, an aging dog, two aging homosexuals and a three year old, addressing the human and cross-species need for warmth and companionship in the lonely hours of the morning by snuggling together.

If we all didn't have to pee, we'd be there still.

Hillary vs. the Coffee Machine

Counting Yawns

Eli, from his bedroom: Daddy, come Wake Me Up!

Me: Wakey, wakey! Good morning, honey.

Eli dashes down the hall.

Me: Aren't you going to give me a good morning hug?

Eli: I have to go potty first. Then I'll give you a good morning hug. And a good morning kiss.

A tinkle a hug and a kiss later, Eli sits on my lap in my study. He yawns.

Eli: I yawned twice.

Me: Yes you did.

Eli: How many times did you yawn?

Me: I'm not sure, I wasn't counting.

Eli: Count your yawns, Daddy!

And so we spent several minutes counting yawns. Not all of them real.

Okay, it's mundane. But it was a charming, cuddly way to way to start the day before facing a gauntlet of conference calls for work.

6 a.m. at My House

Chocolate Macademia Nut coffee awaits me (courtesy LTR) while a vanilla scented candle burns








Eli's lunch is packed next to my daily ration of Almonds. The Geriatric dogs' medicines lurk nearbye








And speaking of geriatric dogs...Buster watches lustfully from outside as Ranger finishes her breakfast. If he were inside he would push her aside and eat her food. When she was younger (she's 15) she would have had HIM for lunch had he tried it.

I Denounce Thee

I find I am filled with outrage this morning.

My parents think homosexuality is a sin. I denounce them.

A business colleague is family friends with the Rev. Al Sharpton, who in fact officiated at her wedding. I denounce her.

My partner thinks we shouldn't have invaded Iraq. I denounce him.

My former neighbors in Florida, the ones who helped us whenever we needed it and who invited us to have holiday dinners with them, knowing we were gay, flew a confederate flag in front of their house. I denounce them.

My dogs will eat food scraps found on the street if I'm not watching. I denounce them.

Some of my closest friends are supporting either Hillary Clinton or John McCain. I denounce them.

Most people I know are straight and engage in a special right denied to me called marriage. I denounce them all.

You, yes you...you who probably don't march in lock-step with everything I believe and every value I hold dear...I denounce you too.

So here I am, in complete moral harmony with my beliefs...and totally alone.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I don't like moral uncertainty.

I denounce me too.

Madonna and Hard Candy

In honor of the fact that the symphonic band arrangement of Madonna tunes went over pretty well, in spite of being panned in advance here (see first comment), I'm linking to the (mostly positive) review of Madonna's new album in today's WaPo.

"50 is the new 25."

I'll go for that.

Be Gay About It

Blogger Erika (INTP) (me, I'm an INFJ) -- has revamped her already cool blog. I've enjoyed her witty and wry writing but now she has a new (sexy!) look and a new name: Be Gay About It...which is pretty cool since one of her memes is that you're as happy as you decide to be...so:

Be Gay About It!

Gay PDA Prompts Call to 911

Gays Kissing in Public!!!!

That's what constitutes an emergency in Birmingham.

ABC show 20/20 is conducting an "experiment" on how people will react to gay PDA and sent a hidden camera to watch reax to two gay actors (and real life couple) nuzzling and locking lips on a park bench.

It was too much for this caller:

Operator: "Birmingham Police operator 9283"

Caller: "We have a couple of men sitting out on the bench that have been kissing and drooling all over each other for the past hour or so. It's not against the law, right?"

Operator: "Not to the best of my knowledge it's not."

Caller: "So there's no complaint I could make or have?"

Operator: "I imagine you could complain if you like ma'am. We can always send an officer down there."

Which they did and the officer told not to smooch in public.

Well, I suppose it's progress, of sorts. It is Alabama. They didn't get lynched.

Stay at Home Parenting vs. Day Care

I've now experienced both stay at home parenting and day care parenting. Yesterday and today I took Eli to day care and came into the office (so they wouldn't give my desk away).

First -- you've heard the expression "pushing water up hill" but you haven't lived it until you've tried to get a three year old ready and out the door and dropped off so you can get to work on time. It's not only pushing water up hill, it's water with a mind of its own that has decided what it wants most is to do the opposite of what you want.

What rushing to get out the door means is you don't have time to parent well. Staying at home we still have our tussle of wills but I can take time to make "teaching moments." You simply don't have time to do that when you're trying to get to work in time for a 9 a.m. meeting.

Not to mention the fact that in day care not only is the caretaker going to parent differently than you but he or she has other kids to attend to.

And don't misunderstand me -- it's not like I parent perfectly when I'm with him all day (see my earlier post). But whatever quality time you might have is greatly diminished in a working parent scenario.

I know in today's world there is little choice. But I suspect one reason so many kids are fucked up is because of it.

So, the rest of the week I'm staying home with him. This will make both of us happy. "Can I go to work with you Daddy" he asked over and over on the way to day care.

Tomorrow he won't have to ask.

Easter and Passover

I'm used to the concept that Easter happens on a different day each year (unlike Christmas which is reliably on the 25th). But aren't Easter and Passover supposed to happen the same week? I mean, Jesus went to Jerusalem for the Passover, right (the Last Supper)?

So how is it that Easter was last month and Passover is this month? Did someone important miss an ecumenical council meeting?

Raising a Child With Love and Logic

My son Eli is here and I'm trying to follow the parenting technique outlined in Jim and Charles Fay's book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood.

The basic premise is constantly framing choices for your child to make that are safe and gives him control over his life as much as possible. You maintain control of your child through enforceable statements (i.e., don't say, repeatedly, "eat your dinner"...say "dinner is over when the big hand is here" and take uneaten food away at the stated time). It's an approach that teaches parents to express mild sadness over misbehavior rather than anger. The book reads like something from "Up with People" until you get to this paragraph about the consequences of screwing it up and raising children with no empathy or social conscious:

In extreme cases, these are the children who go to school and shoot their classmates.

Good. God.

So, I'm trying to take their advice. One tactic they suggest for dealing with tantrums is to keep on truckin'" -- i.e., walk away. If it happens in the grocery store, they say, walk away to where the kid can't see you so they will realize you aren't sticking around for the fireworks (but peek around the corner until the kid comes to find you).

So yesterday, we were in the grocery store and Eli knocked some cans off the shelf. No big deal, it was an accident. I asked him to pick them up. He then proceeded to make a game of it, putting the cans back then knocking them back off again. I told him to stop. "No, daddy!" I told him to stop and we needed to keep moving. "No daddy! Bad daddy!" So, I said, "bye!" and walked away, turned the corner and waited.

What did I hear? The continued crashing of cans to the floor. Minutes passed. Other customers were eying me and thinking "why is that terrible father letting his kid go out of control?" I expected the manager at any minute to show up with social services and haul us both away. "But it's in the book!" I wanted to shout.

Finally, I couldn't take it any more and walked back around, scooped Eli up in my arms and replaced the cans. He off course responded by screaming "Bad Daddy!" while kicking me.

I think I just wiped out his future eighth grade class.

Democratic Primary and Values

Some values are more important to people than others. In the Democratic Presidential Primary we've seen a consistent story -- Hillary's negatives are high, people (in PA exit polls no less) say she has run a more unfair campaign, she's consistently caught lying, and yet she wins.

Honesty and fairness are lesser values, then...to what?

Focus on the Family and Gay Relationships

James Dobson's Focus on the family likes to call it a myth that

Homosexual relationships are no different than heterosexual ones.

(That's Myth Number Three, for those counting).

Not so fast, Lou! A study by the University of Illinois (my Alma Mater) shows that:

same-sex relationships were similar to those of opposite-sex couples in many ways. All had positive views of their relationships but those in the more committed relationships (gay and straight) resolved conflict better than the heterosexual dating couples. And lesbian couples worked together especially harmoniously during the laboratory tasks.

The notion that committed same-sex relationships are “atypical, psychologically immature, or malevolent contexts of development was not supported by our findings,” said lead author Glenn I. Roisman, PhD. “Compared with married individuals, committed gay males and lesbians were not less satisfied with their relationships.”

Hmm, well, James and I may actually be disappointed in that result, but for different reasons. Given the high degree of divorce in straight America, I'd hope that gay couples would be happier than their straight counterparts. But, I'll take "just as satisfied" for now.

Oh, and if my partner and I are ever in one of these tests, I'm sticking close to the lesbian couples during the lab tasks, to improve my score.

Read more about the study here.

Barf-Inducement of the Day

If you need to shed a few pounds from over indulging during the weekend, sample this over-indulging:

“Chelsea, the gays love you!” one fan exclaimed, as she took the microphone at Bump, a restaurant and bar that was her first stop.

More Madonna

If you want more debate about Madonna's importance to the gay community, hop on over to Queerty.

(Someone put a Bugg in our ear).

Al Gore's Voicemail

via Sullivan:

Anonymous Comments

In the Madonna post I just deleted a comment from an anonymous poster. Why? Because he (or she) made a personal attack on another commenter.

Not on my blog, bucko.

The anonymous attacker (to be know as AA) actually celebrated his approach by saying one of the beauties of the internet is it allows you to say whatever you want without fear of retribution or consequences.

Well, AA was wrong because his comment got him deleted. And I detest the anonymous factor of the Internet that leads people to say hurtful things they would never say to someone else in person. It's uncivil.

Does that mean I don't want a frank exchange of ideas? Of course I do. Still posted throughout this blog are comments from people who flat out disagree with me. Through an honest, open exchange of thoughts and ideas -- not insults -- we can learn from each other.

AA also made the point that would signing a comment as "Steve or Bruce" etc. really tell us who someone is? In many cases, no, but one of the things that has surprised me about this blog is I've actually gotten to know some of the people who leave comments. Many of them have their own blogs and I've gotten to know them through their blogs as well as their comments. One person who began commenting here almost from the beginning has become a good friend whom I've met in person. The best thing about blogging is the community it can create around ideas and interests.

So, AA, although you are safely behind your anonymity (Though I suspect you are probably someone I know), take your insults someplace else. If you have ideas you are welcome to share them. But we don't need your spiteful venom here.

DC US Park Police Goons -- Arrest at the Jefferson Memorial

All the policemens are going to be on edge what with the Pope's visit and all, but US Park Police always seem ready to overreach.

Take for example, the Jefferson Memorial midnight arrest of a woman who, with a group of friends, was dancing there in honor of TJ's birthday. Well, you say, their music was disturbing the peace. Wrong -- they were dancing to music in their Ipods they were listening to through earphones. (Hat tip: Metroblogger)

You might be inclined to right this off as a stunt -- but if it was a stunt why'd they do it at Midnight when no one was going to be around? Hey I'm thrilled that people younger than I am even remember who Thomas Jefferson was (me, having the advantage of having gone to school with him).

I know from first hand experience how thuggish the Park Police can be. One Autumn Sunday morning I was sitting with my son and our two dogs in Meridian Hill Park. We were sitting in the middle of a large lawn, and Eli was playing in the fall leaves while the dogs lounged nearby. A perfect Sunday morning.

Then the Park Police showed up. I saw her stop her cruiser on the sidewalk and she got out and walked across the grass over to us. My smallest dog, being the extrovert she was, got up, tail wagging, walked over to her to say hello. I honestly didn't know why the officer was approaching.

"Sir, your dogs are out of control."

What?!

"It's illegal for them to be off the leash."

I pointed out they were still wearing their leashes.

"You weren't controlling them. They walked up to me."

"You walked up to us. They were laying in the grass. Had you walked by, they'd still be laying in the grass."

It went downhill from there, with her threatening me with arrest. Although I'm usually pretty stupid in a confrontation, I eventually realized this was not a fight I needed, especially with my three dependents caught up in the middle.

And so, our perfect Sunday morning shattered by a thug with a badge who went out of her way to prove her authority.

Whether it's a father and son enjoying a quiet morning in a park or a group of libertarians pursuing some happiness to celebrate the birthday of the founding father who told the world happiness pursuing is okay, the Park Police is there to make sure we respect their auth-or-i-tay.

Madonna

I wrote a disparaging remark about Madonna to provoke a response from one of my three readers who is an avid Madonna fan. But in fairness, let me give the Diva her due.

Madonna is, or perhaps, was, a great entertainer. I have danced to her music in clubs and have a few of her tunes in my Ipod. I do enjoy her songs from time to time. I think she is a shrewd business woman and obviously she is way more successful -- measured by fame and wealth -- than I could ever dream to be. In this regard, I tip my hat to her.

But she has the importance of cheesecake. Cheesecake is tasty, enjoyable and a pleasurable part of life. But immeasurably bad for us if that's all we eat. And we could live without it. The problem I have is not with Madonna, it's with her legions of fans who think she is important. Sure she's fun. But meaningful?

One of my readers writes that her songs are "memorable." Well, that's true, in the same way as one remembers "It's a Small World After All" after a trip to Disney Land. The true test is if 100 years from now artists are re-recording her songs and people still know the words. My guess is not. They don't call it "pop" music for nothing.

I'm willing to bet you a slice of cheesecake on it.

Dancing Naked in Front of the Mirror

I recently sent a group of my friends the "Have you ever" meme quiz thingy posted on Cooper's Corridor. It's a series of totally random questions of the sort you're used to seeing on the Internets, including have you ever held a snake? Have you ever sat on a roof? Etc.

There are questions of a more intimate nature as well. It seems my friends and me have, in common:

Known unrequited love
Like to go commando
Sleep naked
Have taken (with one exception) a naked picture of themselves
Have kissed a member of the same sex (well, duh!)
And so on.

But they all share something in common I don't. My friends have all admitted they've danced in front of a mirror naked. Not me. Hell, I don't like to dance in front of a mirror with my clothes on and my eyes closed.

Here's the deal -- when I stand in front of the mirror in my birthday suit I'm holding my stomach in so tight I'd pass out from oxygen deprivation if I moved. Otherwise I don't want to see parts of me that aren't supposed to jiggle bounce like a Mexican jumping bean on X.

I'll keep my nude dancing confined to my bed, thank you very much. And if there is a mirror on the ceiling, well, meme your own business.

Something Nice about Hillary Clinton

Someone challenged me to say something positive about Hillary Clinton. No problem:

I think she's done a good job in the U.S. Senate. I hope she has a long and successful career there.

Madonna -- Who Knew?

The band is doing a medley of Madonna tunes (my response to a recent survey of members and the feedback we take ourselves too seriously and should do more "pop" stuff -- I may have gone a bit far). My assistant is conducting it (in response to my own personal, impish sense of humor that she seems to get) but I just looked at the sheet music. Did you know that Madonna actually co-wrote that crap herself?

Chelsea Clinton and the Combat Zone

Assume, for a moment, that Hillary Clinton spoke the truth about dodging sniper fire in Bosnia (I know, the very thought of linking "truth" and "Clinton" requires a suspension of disbelief).

What rational parent would take their minor child into a combat zone to face sniper fire?

Forget about those sleeping kids at 3 a.m. -- does Hillary have enough horse sense to keep her own daughter safe?

Of Mid Life

Won't be long till I'm 44. Seems like just yesterday I was turning the big four-oh. Now I'm already almost halfway through the fourth decade.

I think the thing for me that's the most difficult about middle age is realizing exactly where you life is heading. In our teens and twenties anything seems possible and we're told to dream big.

Then life confronts you with choices and responsibilities. A course is set. You begin to travel that course, and at first, the forks you come to in the road will take to vastly different places, depending on which turn you take. As you go along, the forks become fewer and the divergence from the path you are following smaller.

You go from anything's possible to knowing exactly what is -- and isn't -- possible. The world narrows.

And that's what's tough about mid life for me. For now.

After a short stay in America, Michelangelo's David returned to Florence

Courtesy my friend Stevo.

Bill Clinton: Hillary too senile for 3 a.m.

Bill Clinton is supposed to be one of the most seasoned politicians, like since Caesar but you couldn't prove it from his behavior in his wife's campaign. He hurt her with his misstatements and racially charged comments in South Carolina. Last month his wife "misspoke" about being under sniper fire instead of attending a welcoming ceremony in Bosnia, a "misstatement" easily shown to be wrong when video emerged of her being greeted by a little girl at the airport, politicians and army brass. Leave it to the Clintons to elevate a misstatement into a self-serving lie.

The media derision of that lie (sorry, I misspoke, I meant misstatement) has subsided, so why is master politician Bill Clinton bringing it up again? In Indiana he mentions it in a speech, and says:

"But there was a lot of fulminating because Hillary, one time late at night when she was exhausted, misstated and immediately apologized for it, what happened to her in Bosnia in 1995. Did y'all see all that.

Yes, we saw it.

Okay, she was tired and it was late at night. Only, it wasn't -- it was actually a mid-morning speech. I guess it depends on what the definition of "time" is. Not to mention the fact that she made this "misstatement" on more than one occasion.

If bringing the whole thing up was mistake one, misstating the facts was mistake two, mistake three was the excuse Bill gave for her: she was too tired and aged to it right. He says (of reporters):

And some of them when they're 60 they'll forget something when they're tired at 11:00 at night, too."

Crisis in the world? 3 a.m. anyone? Geritol?

The Office Newspaper and the John

It's a straight thing and I don't understand.

I've seen it all my professional life. A guy heads out of the office, grabs a newspaper or magazine from the lobby or reception area, and heads for the john.

Ewww.

Then he brings the reading material back and deposits it for the next, um, user.

It occurred to me recently that I've never seen a gay man do this. And I recently checked with the other gay men in my office and they backed me up -- none of us would be caught dead doing such a thing. Some of us go to great lengths to deny the fact that we engage in the practice of, well, you know. The LTR, for example, won't even admit he engages in this practice. Let alone grabbing a newspaper in front of the entire office thus announcing to everyone, "Hey, I'm going to go take a crap!"

I know this isn't limited to gay men...a straight former colleague of mine would leave the office, walk up the street to a deli and use the facilities there for his necessary thing. But he is an exception.

I think almost worst is walking into a stall and seeing a newspaper on top of the TP dispenser or hung from the handicapped rail. I guess at a subconscious level I prefer to think no one else has used the thing before me. The sports page taunts me with the fallacy of my fantasy.

And this practice is definitely a straight thing. I've yet to discover the style section awaiting me in the office john.

Hmm...I'm tempted to start leaving copies of "Better Homes and Gardens" and "Vanity Fair." Will that give them pause?

Down Time

I've been experiencing some down time.

I mean this in several ways. I've not been blogging, so I've been down as a blogger.

I'm also down in mood. Depression is like a tar that smothers your soul, your dreams and hopes, your desire to move.

Oddly enough, I've had a wildly productive week at work.

I'll snap out of this. But until then, I'm having me some down time.